


My Future Bottom Pretends To Be Masc And Straight, What Should I Do?

by jonginika



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecure Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Jackson Wang as the obligatory K-Pop Party host, Jongin just being Jongin, M/M, Mentions of Bullying and Harrassment, Miscommunication, Sexual Tension, please don't take this too seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-10-11 20:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20552132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonginika/pseuds/jonginika
Summary: The five times Kyungsoo pretends to be a straight dude bro in front of his new roommate Jongin (and the one time he doesn’t).





	1. I Am Your Bro, Nothing More

**Author's Note:**

> i actually decided to post the first (and to this date only existing) half of this fic because i started working on it in march and when i looked at it again i didn't know if it was worth finishing anymore? so i just thought, why not put out the stuff i already wrote and just go with the flow of everything. 
> 
> it's kinda crack-ish, because i always wanted to write something light-hearted and dumb like this.

Do Kyungsoo is sick of waiting. He has entered his new assigned dorm about three hours ago, quickly unpacking his belongings before laying down on his bed, playing on his mobile phone while waiting for his roommate to arrive. Honestly, he just wants his future roommate to arrive quickly so he could get over the dreaded socializing he’ll have to do with him as soon as possible and take his long anticipated nap. Whoever this man turns out to be, Kyungsoo figures they won’t become the best of friends.

In general, he could tolerate most people, still, he sincerely hopes he won’t have to dorm with a homophobic jock. His best friend Baekhyun already has to deal with some annoying guy who has argued with his girlfriend on the phone loudly three times since he moved in already. Apart from that, Kyungsoo is aware of the fact that he is pretty small when it comes to his stature and he really doesn’t fancy one more guy picking on him for not having big muscles and a ton of gel in his hair.

He just wants to lounge around in his black sweatpants and t-shirt when he doesn’t have any classes or things to do. An overexcited puppy as roommate really wouldn’t do it for him either. Laying in his bed, he closes his eyes and prays for some average guy who would ignore him most of the time and speak to him nicely when the occasion fit.

As he is about to finally doze off, not being able to wait any longer, Kyungsoo hears the door clicking open. His future roommate apparently has some problems carrying a box into the dorm, if the small grunts coming from him are any indication. But Kyungsoo has been already sleepy enough, so he doesn’t bother helping the poor guy.

Maybe he should have done something though, because then the appearance of his new mate wouldn’t have taken him aback like this. Peacefully resting his eyes, Kyungsoo doesn’t notice the stranger is approaching him, watching him lay in his bed on his stomach with one leg hiked up and his head buried in his pillow. 

The guy clears his throat and then proceeds to greet Kyungsoo. “Umm, I really don’t want to interrupt your nap, I also sleep all the time, but you’re my new roommate, right?” 

Without opening his eyes, Kyungsoo shortly replies with a “Yes, I suppose I am.” 

“Oh, I’m Kim Jongin.”, the male introduces himself rather shyly which catches Kyungsoo’s attention, causing him to actually look up to him this time. And _oh_. Kyungsoo did _not _expect this Jongin guy to have such a pretty face. His visibly bitten plump lips look so nice pronouncing the three syllables of his name and his gaze is penetrating him in the most pleasant way his deep chocolate eyes would allow. 

Also, his eyebrows have a unique way of quirking up when he is expecting Kyungsoo to answer him with his own name. Kyungsoo quickly shoots a glance at his build – damn, he is really well trained – before he says: “Do Kyungsoo. I hope we’ll get along well and that you are able to keep our dorm clean. I can’t stand when people make a mess.” 

“I’ll try my best. I swear I won’t stand in your way.” Jongin scratches his neck, not exactly being able to promise what his new roommate wants from him. Kyungsoo, now sitting up on his bed with his legs crossed, scans the room with his eyes and quietly takes in all the stuff Jongin has brought in. 

“I really like cooking, so I could cook for the both of us if you want.” Kyungsoo is sure of Jongin being the most attractive man he had seen in his entire life by now, so it is only natural for him to try wooing him with one of his special talents. Offering him a friendly smile was just the first step out of many to get into Kim Jongin’s heart and pants. 

“You can cook? Woah! I’d be really grateful, especially because I’m busy with dance practice like, all the time!” Jongin is already impressed by his roommate. This is going way better than he thought. A cutie with cooking abilities and on top of that respectful towards him. “But all I saw when I walked in was a small, and to be honest, kinda ratty kitchenette… You can really cook with a thing like that? Or did you mean ‘I can make hot ramen and egg’ when you said you could cook?” 

Kyungsoo snorts, “Obviously I can’t make an entire Thanksgiving Dinner with that thing, but back at home I always loved cooking. So as long as there’s a stove top, I can whip up something.” 

“Ah, that’s so cool! Thank you for the offer.”, Jongin sighs out contently. 

“It’s no problem. But if it’s okay with you and you don’t have anything important to say, I want to take a nap. So please don’t disturb me.” He replies, already halfway into rolling himself into his blanket. 

“No no, everything’s fine. I’m just going to put everything I brought with me into place”. It takes everything in Jongin not to coo at this small man bundled up in his blanket, trying to get some sleep. He also doesn’t want to be a creep, but he can’t believe that the outline of his new roommate’s thick ass is still visible under the covers. “I’ll try to be as quiet as possible.” 

As soon as Jongin is finished unpacking his things, paying special attention to some of his prized possessions such as a signed jersey from his favorite football club Chelsea and was convinced of Kyungsoo’s unconscious state of mind, he dials the number of his close friend Chanyeol to tell him about his first impressions at his new dorm and of course new mate. “I’m wondering if he could be interested in me. You gotta see him, he’s so cute and small, and I also kind of get gay vibes from him. I can’t explain it, I just feel it?”, Jongin contemplates. It wasn’t really a question directed at him, but Chanyeol answers anyways. 

“Who knows what really goes on in his head, if he’s gay or not… You shouldn’t judge him from the first impression so I think you should base your opinion on how he behaves the next days. Don’t worry to much, objectively speaking, you’re hella good-looking so there will always be plenty of fish in the sea for you.” 

For some reason, both roommates’ sleeping cycles appear to be complementary to each other. After Jongin springs onto his bed, deciding not to do anything anymore for today, Kyungsoo awakes from his short sleep. His phone tells him it’s quarter to 11 pm already – and Kyungsoo hasn’t contacted Baekhyun yet. The amount of incoming messages proved his assumption that that little bitch would be worried about him for no reason after just a couple hours of absence from his side. 

_i’m sorry baekhyun for not updating you. i just felt like taking a nap_

**byun baekhyun:** _ well????? what if something happened to you??? and your roommate turned out to be a fucked up psychopath planning your death ://_

_no.. everything is okay. i’m really sorry for you and your bitch ass roomie btw. i kinda won the jackpot, my roommate is fine as hell. Like, REALLY attractive, 10/10_

**byun baekhyun: ** _this is so unfair T_T you’re really about to get some dick right at the start of the semester, huh? What does your boy look like??_

_he’s quite tall, pretty lips, definitely goes to the gym, nice smile and tan skin, also he seems chill_

**byun baekhyun: ** _sooo.. what are you gonna do with him now?_

_f_ _irst of all, i’m gonna check if he could be interested...because what’s the point if he turns out to be a hetero man… I won’t waste my time like this, and then…. Idk, i’m just gonna let things happen I think_

**byun baekhyun: ** _well, good luck then soo, _ _let’s discuss all the details tomorrow, hehe._ _ i’m gonna go to sleep, this guy’s giving me a serious headache >.< _

_*_

For the next day, Kyungsoo sets his alarm half an hour earlier to impress his new crush with a fancy breakfast. Well, at least fancy considering the kitchen circumstances. He pads over to the counter top and immediately starts cutting up some vegetables he bought last minute yesterday (and hopes Jongin likes zucchini and mushrooms).

Although Kyungsoo had to sacrifice his sleep for this, spending quiet mornings just humming random melodies to himself always has a soothing effect on him. The sound of two eggs sizzling in the pan together with the simmering of a simple stew he has prepared encompasses the kitchenette. It gives him a warm feeling. When he checks the plastic container in the fridge for some leftover rice, he’s sad to see that it was empty. He wanted to serve the sunny side up eggs together with the rice, but he supposes the stew itself will suffice for now. 

When he is about to pour in freshly-brewed green tea into two of his mugs (because Jongin hasn’t thought about bringing his own kitchenware), said roommate is stumbling into the living room slash kitchen with his phone plastered to his face. Some video is playing loudly – Kyungsoo suspects it to be a football game with all the shouting and commentators ranting about somebody missing a goal, honestly he doesn’t know anything about sports so it might be something completely different. What’s more important anyways is how Jongin tries to reach for a package of drinkable yogurt sitting in the fridge with his eyes barely open a centimeter. The taller man is dressed in a two piece pajama and makes cute little grunting noises trying to open the yogurt seal with his teeth. _What is he even doing…._Kyungsoo thinks. 

“Uhm… Good morning, Jongin.”, Kyungsoo greets him because the last couple minutes with nobody speaking and Jongin not even noticing him have been pretty awkward. 

“G’Morning.” Jongin still isn’t looking at him. He is currently sitting on the small couch, one leg propped over the armrest, continuing to watch his sports game. Kyungsoo grabs one steaming mug and puts it down in front of his roommate. 

“What are you watching?” Kyungsoo tries to make conversation with him while he carries over the bowl of stew. Accompanied with a _huh _from the sudden unfamiliar smell, Jongin pauses his video and sits up straight.

“A football replay. I always watch the games of my favorite clubs, but because of time zones I have to watch them in the morning.”, he replies sleepily. _That’s it? Did he even notice how much effort I put into this breakfast? __Oh no, please don’t tell me he actually IS an entitled jock… The football thing… his looks… _Kyungsoo already starts feeling disappointed. 

But then, for the first time this day, Jongin opens his eyes fully and registers the hot meal in front of him. His eyes widen and he opens his mouth in amazement at his roommates’ culinary skills. 

“Woah! You did this yourself? Thank you so much! I already know rooming with you is gonna be so awesome!” He averts his eyes to his stomach, where both of his hands are resting on – as if he is speaking to it, “We’re never gonna be hungry after practice now! No instant noodles anymore!”

Kyungsoo mentally facepalms at his behavior, but just smiles politely and says “It’s not much. It’s just a simple stew. I hope your enjoy the food.” _Stay humble, this is gonna give him a good impression of me._

Jongin nods hastily at that and doesn’t waste a second before his cheeks are full from eating too much of the stew at once. 

The remainder of the morning is uneventful – while Kyungsoo locks himself in the bathroom to get ready and dress himself, Jongin spends his time preparing for class in their shared room. When Kyungsoo leaves the bathroom, Jongin steps in to finish his own routine wordlessly. They don’t really talk, but Kyungsoo can’t say it’s a bad thing – his roommate doesn’t seem to be much of a talker either, so it’s comfortable to not be forced to fill the silence around them. At the end, they both leave at different times, and Kyungsoo reckons they won’t arrive back at the dorm at the same time either.

* 

The next time Kyungsoo sees Jongin comes around sooner than he has expected, though. He left the coffee shop around the corner with Baekhyun a few minutes ago and now the two of them are strolling around the campus with an iced latte each. After a long period of bad weather, the sky has finally cleared up and the warming sun has lured a lot of students outside to spend time apart from writing essays all day (or procrastinating). Kyungsoo is just telling his friend a story about this girl glaring at him during pilates class, when he spots _him_.

He’s approaching the left wing of the main building in his 182cm glory and even though Kyungsoo has to squint his eyes really hard, he can finally make out in which outfit his crush has headed out today. Jongin is dressed in a pair of beige camouflage sweats, sleek Nike sneakers and a simple white shirt that hug his biceps deliciously. On top of that he wears a black cap and has a sports bag slung over his shoulders - he looks like he came fresh out of the dance practice he’s mentioned yesterday. Kyungsoo has already begun to salivate over the broadness of Jongin’s back and his thick neck, when Baekhyun interrupts his fantasies.

“Kyungsoo-yah… Do you know who the girl next to him is?”

Kyungsoo freezes in his spot. There is, indeed, a small woman walking beside Jongin, looking at him intently while she talks. He is only able to see her side profile and her choice of clothes, but he already knows she has to be drop dead gorgeous. Baekhyun, nosy as he is, also starts watching the couple. Currently the girl, who also has long and shiny brown hair, is latching herself onto Jongin and playfully pushing him to the side. Jongin just laughs at that and slings an arm around her shoulders briefly, pressing their sides together.

“Oh no… Baek… Abort the mission! Abort it!” Kyungsoo snaps his head to Baekhyun with a desperate look on his face. 

“What mission? And why?” Baekhyun really doesn’t know what the fuck his best friend is talking about. 

“He...He! He’s straight! I can’t believe it! I should have known...”, Kyungsoo exclaims a little bit to loud, because Baekhyun just sighs and looks around to make sure nobody is listening to them. He also realizes that Kyungsoo was talking about his plan to woo his new roommate. “The signs were everywhere. The football jersey hanging over his bed? The borderline pretending-I-don’t-exist-behavior towards me… Oh my god, Baek, he’s a total jock!”, Kyungsoo just won’t shut up rambling, his eyes still fixated on the left-side entrance of the main building, which is empty now. 

“Soo…”, Baekhyun has to laugh, but he also knows it’s his job to calm down dramatic Kyungsoo, “You know that could be literally anybody, right? His sister, a friend, another dancer, anybody. He doesn’t necessarily have to be straight.”

Kyungsoo looks at him, feeling betrayed by his own best friend, and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I know what I’m talking about! Did you even listen to me? He is a** jock**! And he is obsessed with football!” 

“Soo… Football players and fans can be gay as well. Just look at Cristiano Ronaldo. He is the epitome of closeted gay.”, he tried to explain. Kyungsoo could be so stubborn sometimes.

Said man stomps his feet at the statement, clearly defeated. But then his expression changes and he looks up to Baekhyun again. “Still… You know he’s exactly my type… And do you know what happened to my previous crushes? I thought ‘oh well, they look like they would call me bro or dude, but maybe they’re gay and interested in me’. Turns out every single of them was straight. I’m a hundred percent sure it’s gonna be the same with him. I’m not that stupid to get my heart broken yet again, no matter how much I want to jump him!” 

Baekhyun sighs. Kyungsoo may have a lot of talents, but that’s only because most of them do not include actively using his brain cells. The man jumps into dumb conclusions way too quickly… and is too stubborn to be convinced otherwise.

*

Back at the dorms with Baekhyun in tow, Kyungsoo opens the door to his shared one and peeks inside. No trace of Jongin. He lets himself and Baekhyun in and immediately slumps down onto the couch in the middle of the room. Baekhyun takes a quick look into their shared bedroom. _Soo really exaggerated with the jock thing. It’s just a jersey. And a little bit messy, but Sehun is way worse than that_, Baekhyun notes. As he enters the living room again, he sees Kyungsoo sitting up on the couch, looking straight forward. Deep in thought. 

“You know… I thought of something.”, Kyungsoo says and Baekhyun wonders what he is up to this time, “He may be a jock, but he’s my roommate first. We have to get along somehow, and I think he is a genuinely nice person somehow anyways. Of course he’s also really hot.” 

He revels in his 18+ thoughts shortly before continuing, “But where a jock is, there’s also a homophobe most of the times.” _Oh yeah, __that __ancient prover__b __of course_, Baekhyun thinks. 

“So I came up with a fool-proof plan. I’m just gonna pretend I’m straight and his ‘bro’ and then he’ll never get suspicious or disgusted when I’m ogling his body.”, Kyungsoo proposes. 

“That literally makes no sense.”, Baekhyun says, “Just ask him if he has anything against gay people or if he’s gay himself. I can even ask him if you don’t want to!”

“No way. He’s gonna know I’m gay by association then.” 

“Well, what if he’s gay too and wants a piece of your ass too?” 

“Haven’t I already established that this literally can’t be the case?”, Kyungsoo raises his voice. 

Their small “argument” comes to a halt when they hear the door unlock. Before Jongin can enter the dorm, Kyungsoo scrambles to change his position to a ‘manlier’ one. He spreads his legs wide open on the couch, leans back and folds his hands behind his head, showing off his armpits. 

(Too sad Kyungsoo hates sweating and uses about 500 cosmetic products to make sure he smells of flowers all the time, because if Jongin saw the little guy proudly showing off his sweaty armpits, no other act to prove his masculinity would be needed, that’s for sure.)

“Hey Kyungsoo, how was class today? Everything went well?”, Jongin greets him and takes off his shoes, “And who are you? Are you Kyungsoo’s friend? Nice to meet you!”

“Yeah, everything went well today, bro. What about you? Oh, and this is my homie, Baekhyun. I’ve known him for a long time now, we’re quite close.”

Baekhyun can’t help but close his eyes and sigh at the cringey attempt of what he calls “dude speech”. 

*

1.

The whole world is aware of how attractive Kim Jongin is. Yet Kyungsoo has it worse than every single one of them, because he is the one LIVING with this above-instagram-model-beauty guy. Several days have passed since their first meeting and they were starting to warm up to each other. To date, the only thing he has done to protect his straight image is throwing in some slang he has picked up from fellow jocks he has overheard in his life. The bad thing – Jongin really doesn’t get less attractive with every additional day they spend together, it’s rather the opposite. The days pass, and Kyungsoo grows more and more hyperaware of Jongin’s presence and his _body._ With that, it becomes harder and harder for Kyungsoo to keep his composure in close proximity of Jongin. A certain thing gets harder and harder with that too. 

In terms of behavior and attitude, Jongin has been nothing but good to him for now. Kyungsoo hates the way he overthrows the jock image completely. He’s just making it harder for him, really. 

He always asks if Kyungsoo slept well, if he’s really okay with cooking for the two of them almost daily, if he wants a coffee or baked good from the nearby cafe to survive a stressful day, and so on. Kyungsoo can’t deny that all these small actions made him feel happy and cared for. That doesn’t stop Jongin from being unintentionally rude though. Whenever he crosses paths with him, Kyungsoo can smell Jongin’s natural scent clearly. For some reason, it never fails to make him feel warm and safe. To add to that, Jongin isn’t the type to bother walking around fully clothed in their dorm, so Kyungsoo was already able to take a glimpse at his naked thighs and chest. 

To put it differently: Kyungsoo is permanently horny. 

Yesterday, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at his meaty, toned thighs while imagining Jongin using them to trap Kyungsoo under him. Kyungsoo must have been staring for a little bit too long, because Jongin seemed to notice the stare and threw him a weird glance. That has made Kyungsoo quite insecure and he panicked, the scenario of Jongin being a homophobe popping up in his head again. He didn’t even have to be homophobic, but the thought of having to live with somebody who’s sexually attracted to him simply could have grossed him out. And if he thought Kyungsoo was gross, he wouldn’t wanna be friends with him, right? So Kyungsoo had to make sure the sentence “Kyungsoo is gay” would never cross his mind to begin with. 

That’s why Kyungsoo ends up forcing himself to open the heterosexual section on PornHub and select a few videos with the prettiest blond and brunette girls with big breasts. He doesn’t actually watch them (he can’t help but find pussy disgusting), but he_ does_ deliberately leave his laptop open with the brightness all up for Jongin to see. He has done this often enough to convince Jongin of his straightness (and maybe to make him see him as a creep too), he thinks. And because Jongin actually never says anything about his pretend porn obsession, Kyungsoo can never be sure enough if the man even noticed it. So he may or may not have “accidentally” forgotten to turn off the volume or plug in his headphones while some chick faked her orgasm in front of the camera sometimes when they both are about to sleep. 

All that stupid plan of Kyungsoo evokes in Jongin, is pure confusion. When he saw the tab on Kyungsoo’s laptop open while he was doing some work for the first time, he felt mildly embarrassed for his roommate because he held the belief that the smaller male simply forgot locking his screen before he headed out to the supermarket. Strangely, it just keeps happening – which significantly reduces the chances of it being a pure coincidence. Of course it irritates Jongin, so he thinks about possible reasons his roommate could have for doing this. He ends up coming to a conclusion that makes him kind of sad. Kyungsoo must have found out somehow that Jongin is gay (did he act too friendly with him? Is buying your roommate a piece of strawberry cake after said roommate cried about accidentally deleting his literature source docs file too gay nowadays?).

But Kyungsoo still looks like a welcoming and soft type of person, so he may have not wanted to tell him what he thought of him. Everything points to the assumption that Kyungsoo was absolutely not interested in him and wanted to more or less subtly indicate him that he was straight. Upon realizing that, Jongin does feel hurt, nonetheless he’s comforting himself by telling himself that’s just how life works sometimes. 

One particular day, some things come to a head. It’s the weekend and Kyungsoo cooking a nice breakfast for him and Jongin is ingrained into their schedule nowadays. Jongin just stepped into the shower when Kyungsoo rose to make food for them (he’s such a pick-me, and he knows it). Normally, Kyungsoo would put on a pair of shorts or sweats before cooking, but Jongin always took his time in the shower and Kyungsoo figured that he would be finished with cooking before Jongin was coming out of the bathroom anyways. So there he is, standing in front of the stove with a thin t-shirt that barely covers his navel and just a short boxer on. He loves sleeping in that gear because he feels like proper pajama pants just suffocate his legs. 

Up to this point, it feels like a completely normal morning to Kyungsoo. He enjoys making a more western style breakfast today with pancakes, bacon and eggs and he got a decent amount of sleep as well, feeling refreshed and ready for the day. 

He has just finished flipping the last pancake and is onto plating them now, drizzling imported maple syrup over the fluffy cakes when unexpectedly, Jongin already comes out of the bathroom. The bathroom is just next to the kitchenette, so when the door is opened, the smell of Jongin’s showering gel washes over him and steam from the hot shower tries to escape from the confined space. The moment Kyungsoo spots Jongin, it’s all over for him. Because Jongin is standing in the door frame, a mere two and a half meters away from him, just clad in a boxer short. 

The water he was showering with must have been too hot, which caused his face to be flushed and give him a pink blush. He has a half-lidded expression on his face and his mouth is slightly agape so he can breathe through his mouth. His lips look so rosy and plush as well that Kyungsoo can’t help but think that his roommate jut looks so _sensual _right now – even if he might be close to fainting from the drastic temperature change. Jongin just throws his head back a bit, exposing his neck, to focus on breathing in and out and his muscles flex while doing so. Kyungsoo diverts his attention from his face to his lean body. First he inspects the rock hard abs with two little moles grazing them and then he lowers his gaze further and further to check his body out and to follow the path of the endless water droplets running down his body.

Kyungsoo tries so hard to avoid it, but of course he instantly pops a boner at the sight. He pinches his nose and when he looks over to the door frame again, he is only met with the sight of the narrow hallway. He really tries to calm himself down, but his _bottom senses _are flaring up – and without knowing it, he’s already unconsciously jutting out his ass and putting his arms on the kitchen counter, ready to submit to the much taller man. Just thinking about their size difference makes Kyungsoo have to suppress some needy high-pitched whines.

The thing is – he can’t just flee the scene. Jongin thinks he is his straight dude bro, so Kyungsoo technically shouldn’t have to worry about anything. He busies himself with cleaning the counter top and decorating the plate for Jongin so he has something else to think about. When he absentmindedly grabs one of the plates, his body goes into automatic mode and without being able to stop himself he already sees himself walking towards Jongin. The student is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone (to Kyungsoo’s luck, he wasn’t even facing the kitchen space) now dressed in a bath robe over his underwear. Kyungsoo stops in front of the small coffee table to put down the food and when the food comes into Jongin’s vision, it’s understandable that the first thing he does is looking up.

And when Jongin looks up, he’s literally on eye level with Kyungsoo’s small erection straining through his boxers, leaving little to the taller’s imagination. When Kyungsoo realizes that, he cannot phantom the embarrassment he is feeling. How could he forget his dick got hard just 2 minutes ago? He just wants to hide in his room – but he’s sharing it with Jongin so not even that is an option right now. He quickly takes a look at Jongin and sees the other throwing him a gaze he can’t decipher. He has to come up with an excuse _right now. _

So he blurts out “I’m sorry man… I was just thinking about his hot girl I saw yesterday evening on my way to our dorm with this really short skirt on and really big breasts, hahahaha you know it’s just my bodies’ natural reaction, I got carried away, nothing bad, we’re all bros in here, right?” and immediately covers himself with his hands. 

Jongin’s looking at his face right now, he’s definitely irritated, and Kyungsoo genuinely doesn’t know if he just made it worse or if he saved his own ass. The other hesitates before he fake laughs along and says: “Umm… okay, it’s no problem...” 

“Also thank you very much for the food.”, Jongin tries to save the really really awkward tension between them. 

“Oh yeah…” And Kyungsoo’s already running into his bedroom, grabbing a bunch of clothes before he runs into the bathroom and locks the door. He faintly hears Jongin turning on the TV – probably to give him some privacy, which is fucking embarrassing, by the way – and steps into the shower.

Enough said, this results in the most shameful jerking off session Kyungsoo has ever experienced in his 21 years of living. No matter how much he normally enjoys it, not even playing with his hole is able to relieve his stress this time around.

On the other side of the dorm, Jongin feels equally embarrassed, although for a slightly different reason. Seeing Kyungsoo’s _ small problem _ facing him with the man himself only clad in a short tee and black boxers triggered some innate instincts in him. Milky thighs stretching out endlessly in front of him, shirt rising up so that his cute pudgy stomach and belly button was exposed paired with his curvy body line… Jongin felt like he was dreaming that moment, wishing the smaller would’ve just quickly turned around for him to appreciate his big and perfectly round ass. And maybe bend down a little bit, pulling down his boxers and exposing a pink (and waxed?) hole… But that was a story for another day. He still had the small outline of his dick imprinted in his memory and wanted nothing more than to reach out and milk some pre cum out of it, staining the smaller’s boxers and making him whimper cutely just for him.

His sexual intoxication made his brain go blank and Jongin was close to losing his mental filter for things that were appropriate to say. The moment he had locked eyes with his roommate and saw him staring back innocently, Jongin genuinely was about to lose it. He was so close to calling Kyungsoo in a low voice, slowly reaching out his arms to grab the backside of his plush thighs gently and pull him forward while saying: “Kyungsoo, let me take care of you”. Trapped in his fantasies, he felt the arousal pooling in his stomach and his instincts taking over.

But then, Kyungsoo started speaking. He has never been so glad in his life that he restrained himself for once. Because that would’ve ended in a total disaster. Jongin was expecting some obscure apology or even a non-acknowledging silence. Well, turned out Kyungsoo was getting his dick hard thinking about girl pussy from _ yesterday. _Ouch. Why couldn’t his dick give him an impression that lasted even the day after? He had to digest the fact that yes, his roommate was painfully straight (and weird for randomly popping a boner while making breakfast). The potential boner was killed in an instant, his dick softening and falling back into it’s original position in the saddest way. 

In an attempt to divert the attention to another topic, Jongin eventually complimented Kyungsoo’s cooking – which did look appetizing, bless him – and started eating so his occupied state would signal him that it was perfectly fine to leave now. Kyungsoo seemed to understand the gesture and scurried into the bathroom. Now that Jongin was left alone, he turned on the TV trying to forget what the fuck happened the last five minutes and distracting himself with some trashy reality show. 

* 

2.

Weird incidents forgotten, the next days in the Kyungsoo-Jongin-Household run smoothly. Kyungsoo has assigned Jongin to be the one bringing all their dirty clothes to the common laundry room as a payback for his own cooking (he didn’t want to admit to his roommate that his arms weren’t trained, but the fullness came from the healthy amount of baby fat he possessed there instead – that would just ruin the dude image he’s worked so hard for). Of course Jongin obliges, because that man has grown a habit of doing everything for his favorite roommate slash cook Kyungsoo-hyung. He invites him into his dance studio and they start taking little walks around the campus after practice so Jongin can come down from his adrenaline rush and exhaustion.

Sometimes, when Kyungsoo is busy with studying – if Jongin doesn’t happen to lose the one pen he carries with him again – he leaves his hyung a short encouraging message on a sticky note and plants it on Kyungsoo’s laptop. Jongin does it because there are occasions where he feels like his roommate is still stiff and uptight around him, trying to maintain a cool facade. He wants his friend (he considers them friends by now) to feel comfortable around him and maybe loosen up a bit, so he tries everything to show him that Kyungsoo shouldn’t be worried about his appearance in front of Jongin by now.

And sometimes, Jongin feels like Kyungsoo really admires the jocks here, but is too shy to make connections to any of them. Honestly, Jongin doesn’t know what Kyungsoo sees in them and their cult-like behavior, but he respects his roommates’ decision. Moreover, he feels like Kyungsoo is really insecure about fitting into that group because of his own smaller build, tender and warm upbringing and soft-spoken nature (even if Kyungsoo tries to hide that from him).

Jongin is sorry for him and feels the need to help somehow, so it’s just fortunate when his close friend Park Chanyeol sends him a message informing him about the cancellation of their plans together due to him attending the frat party of an international student named Jackson. Jongin asks him if Kyungsoo could tag along and Chanyeol replies with a few laughing emojis, paired with the text “that manlet attends frat partys???? lmao he really doesn’t look it”. Jongin explains to him that he may not fit the standard but he appears to have his own reasons. For Jongin himself the upcoming Saturday will mark the first time he’ll attend another frat party after such a long period of abstinence from it. He isn’t too fond of the amount of alcohol consumed, as well as other drugs and it makes his head feel dizzy (he doesn’t even want to mention the excessive socializing he’d have to do with intoxicated strangers). Big parties and crowds just never fit his personality.

Naturally, Chanyeol is surprised by Jongin’s decision. When he asks why Jongin’s coming as well, he answers that somehow, he feels responsible for Kyungsoo and his safety. And in his opinion, he has every right to be cautious. Kyungsoo is polite, but shy and rather shimmies away from unnecessary attention, striving for a simple life. At the same time, Jongin presumes his roommate has to feel some internal pressure to get along well with the others. Kyungsoo might be a jock at heart (although Jongin really doubts it), but no matter how similar they are at heart, let’s face it, he still looks like a total twink. If your parents weren’t at least wealthy, looking frail and tiny just becomes a source of ridicule.

Jongin fears that the “big bad jocks” won’t take his roommate serious and start making fun of him on the low without Kyungsoo noticing – because the boy is a tad bit to naive for his own good. What if they bribe Kyungsoo into doing something stupid? Jongin doesn’t even want to imagine the potential permanent damage it could leave behind.

On the other hand, his friend might be straight, but no one can deny there’s still the gay stereotype imposed on him. Jongin himself as the resident bisexual has felt some gay vibes from him at their first meeting. Another undeniable thing is how great Kyungsoo’s body is. The jocks may be homophobic – or maybe that’s even the thing that fuels their behavior – but Jongin feels anxious at the thought of thousand stares and what else directed at the man and how uncomfortable and suffocated Kyungsoo would feel in that situation. Jongin hates that everything is like a simple joke for that group of people. He sincerely hopes Kyungsoo would enjoy his time and maybe get to know new people at the huge gathering.

Turns out, both of his worries come true that evening.

Kyungsoo has told him that he would dress up for the occasion at Baekhyun’s dorm, and because Jongin isn’t one to impress anybody, he just threw on whatever was convenient for him. To add to that, Jongin isn’t blind. He knows he’s attractive, he’s been told that often enough. Parties are the perfect opportunity for people to give him half-assed drunken confessions or hook-up propositions, which he’ll all reject anyways. Going slightly underdressed and just disappearing in the crowd is the easiest solution to that.

This leaves Jongin sitting on the couch in the living room cross-legged, scrolling through social media out of boredom. He’s waiting for Kyungsoo to knock on the door any minute, signaling him that he’s ready to go.

A few corridors away, said male and his best friend are on their way to Kyungsoo’s dorm to fetch Jongin. Kyungsoo is dressed in a simple black shirt and skinny blue jeans. On top of that he’s wearing a varsity jacket, more specifically the one that was given to him in high school, because he thinks that will make him blend in easier. Even though he went to Baekhyun so he could play his fashion counselor, his friend was barely a help choosing his outfit.

He has, however, helped him pick out some conversation topics. While Kyungsoo himself had absolutely no intentions to willingly hold a conversation with some musty jocks, Jongin was the one who invited him to the party. He can’t blame him, after all he is the one pretending to be a straight manly guy in front of Jongin. With Jongin attending as well, he has to make sure his image doesn’t crumble and apart from that, he didn’t have it in him to decline the taller’s offer. Baekhyun still thinks his plan is stupid, but Kyungsoo has become so used to it it’s like a second persona at this point (which is still very much fake).

Before the pair enters the dorm, Jongin can already hear them arguing faintly. He doesn’t know what they are talking about, but he quickly figures it isn’t anything grave as Baekhyun starts laughing whatever matter off. The long-awaited knock comes and Jongin abruptly stands up, grabs his jacket and opens the door. He sees both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo looking up to him.

“Hey Kyungsoo, you’re ready to go?”, and then he throws a glance to Baekhyun, “Hey Baekhyun, you’re going as well?”

Baekhyun is stretching out his arms in front of him, shaking his hands to answer in the negative.

“No, no! I was just bringing him here, I have my own business to do.”, he puts on his typical little smirking face, “He’s all yours, Jongin.”

Immediately after saying that, he pats Kyungsoo’s shoulders a good 3 times and makes his way to the other side of the building.

“Don’t mind him.”, Kyungsoo says, avoiding eye contact, “Let’s just go.”

*

The party is being held not on the campus, but in Jackson’s mansion that practically belongs to him as his parents travel all the time for work. Chanyeol has offered both of them to drive them, because they all have the same destination and he wants to get to know Kyungsoo better. Their first few meetings always were brief, with Chanyeol just passing by their dorm to deliver something to Jongin or to pick him up to go to the gym together. Sitting together in a car makes it easier to pick up a conversation, so Chanyeol interrogates Kyungsoo about his taste in music or whether or not he really is a gifted cook. He’s occasionally glancing at Kyungsoo’s face in the rear view mirror while he is talking, whereas Jongin is sitting on the passenger seat, not quite participating in the conversation but giving some side comments nonetheless. Up to this moment, everything is going fine, his friends are getting along well and perhaps attending a party after months of radio silence will be fun after all.

They arrive fashionably late, as Chanyeol explains to them. If you’re not close to the person throwing the party, you should never arrive on time or even a bit earlier because it will make things awkward with either nobody or only close friends being there. To add to that, if you arrive later, the stage where everybody is still wary about actually partying and playing games will be over, otherwise you would’ve belonged to the group that was trying to animate the others to not only sit around and talk or quietly drink.

Chanyeol’s statement proves itself to be true once again. They park about 100 meters away from the residence and Chanyeol tries to teach Kyungsoo some party etiquette last minute. Don’t force anybody to do anything, but don’t be a party pooper and call the police either. Don’t go to a party if you just plan on sulking and doing nothing, but don’t trust total strangers. Sometimes you meet interesting people you have amazing chemistry with, but in general the conversations should stay superficial – not the time for deep talk. And of course don’t forget to greet the host if you happen to see him to thank him for the free booze.

Kyungsoo just nods at all the new information given to him as they enter the building. Most people don’t pay attention to the three that just arrived, but some recognize Chanyeol and give him a bro fist or a friendly pat on the back. Jongin also gets some attention, probably because the best looking person on campus is finally here. Kyungsoo can already see the heart eyes from girls sitting on the vintage bar in the living room or on the big couch ensemble right next to it. He himself feels small, like he’s drowning from all the unknown smells, neon visuals and overbearing music thrumming in sync with his erratic heart beat. He unconsciously hides behind Jongin’s broad back and keeps his gaze on the ground.

Everything around him may be loud, but the only thing Jongin takes in is the silence coming from his roommate. He doesn’t see the smaller man next to him, so he turns around to see Kyungsoo standing behind him petrified.

He crouches a little bit to accommodate Kyungsoo’s height. “Are you feeling uncomfortable?”

After the other doesn’t answer, he adds: “It’s okay. I don’t like that much action happening at once as well. Should we go somewhere less crowdy? What do you say?” He is lowkey baby talking Kyungsoo at this moment, but Kyungsoo can’t deny that it has a soothing effect on him, the taller making him feel much safer. He just nods slightly at that.

Not long after, Chanyeol approaches the two of them with two red cups, obviously filled with some alcoholic beverage.

“Here, some beer to ease into the mood. Filled the cup to the brim just for you Kyungsoo-yah, you’re still so stiff”. he says and hands one of the large cups to him. He thanks him, takes a big sip, nervously fiddling with the cup after. It seems like both Chanyeol and Jongin are not convinced of him being the most outgoing person, which is one of the fundamental qualifications of being seen and accepted as a jock.

He doesn’t know how to save his image right now, so he slightly panics. 

Jongin, who has been staring into the room for a while, suddenly nudges Kyungsoo with his elbow and points to a place near the stairway.

“Didn’t you want to befriend some other jocks?”, Jongin whispers beside him, “This might be your chance.”

Kyungsoo gulps and instantly stands up as not to show weakness in front of his crush. When he leaves for the jocks, Chanyeol takes his place on the small couch he was sitting on.

At first, talking to the jocks is not _that_ bad. He approaches them, they wonder who this midget is, but they don’t say anything mean yet. Kyungsoo tells the 5 of them he’s a friend of Chanyeol and they seem surprised at that, one of them replying that they’re quite close with the giant as well. Kyungsoo tries to remember what Baekhyun told him about conversing with jocks and decides to bring up the ‘girls’ topic.

“So… I was hoping to get laid today and now I wanna know where I can pick up some girls.”, he inquires.

The group members look at each other, trying to hold back their laughter at somebody like Kyungsoo saying these things. Kyungsoo’s head is already spinning when he tries to follow all the glances and non verbal messages the group members are sending to each other.

One of them with honey colored hair turns to him and says, “No offense bro, but you’ll have to prove you’re a real man to them first. Who is gonna take you seriously like that?” He grabs Kyungsoo’s cup out of his hold and swirls it around in his grip, making the liquid inside move. “Bet that’s your first drink and bet that beer is even alcohol-free.” The jocks laugh in unison. Kyungsoo laughs along because he does not want them to think he’s a pussy when Jongin is just a few meters away from him, maybe even watching his actions expectantly.

Kyungsoo is glad he’s wearing his extra thick insoles today, because otherwise it would look like the group is arguing with adwarf.

“I don’t need to prove I’m a man! I know enough about sports!”, he tries to justify himself, “Did y’all go to the sports game of our university football team? That was an intense match!”

“Dude”, another one – with black hair and a long fringe – says, “We’re all part of the team.”

*

On the other side of the room, Jongin has been watching the scene attentively. His roommates’ interactions with the group appear to be fine, he sees them laughing and chatting animatedly, so it looks like Kyungsoo isn’t in any danger. When he’s about to ask Chanyeol for his opinion on the matter, the latter looks up from his phone, stands up and starts dragging Jongin to go somewhere with him.

“What’s going on?” Jongin is confused.

“Man, Yixing’s just texted me that he’s here as well!”, Chanyeol says excited. Jongin’s eyes widen, their mutual friend arrived in Korea only today so everybody figured he was spending his time sorting some things out again. But Zhang Yixing, being the restless person he is, of course couldn’t wait a day to dive right back into the life as a student here.

Jongin didn’t know what to do.

Leave Kyungsoo alone but greet the friend he hasn’t seen for so long or stay with Kyungsoo but leave his close friend hanging?

“What about Kyung-”, he wants to ask, but Chanyeol cuts him off.

“He is a grown ass man, and they seem to be getting along just okay, don’t worry about him. We are just going to say hi and then you can go back to your lover boy.”

Jongin admits he’s right. It couldn’t be this bad anyways, right? So he follows his friend to the backyard where Yixing is supposed to be.

*

Okay, the jocks may have established enough times this evening that Kyungsoo is a sad excuse of a dude bro. After the embarrassment of trying to tell football players something about their own sport, he is so ashamed that he doesn’t turn down the dare from the jocks to down some crystal clear beverage in a 0.7l bottle in one go. Of course he isn’t able to do it. His throat burns, his head throbs and his legs feel wobbly from the adrenaline rush. It doesn’t take long for him to get hammered, taking into account that he has barely eaten anything before.

His face heats up and it doesn’t go unnoticed. The jocks start jokingly cooing him with an “Aww….you’re really like a baby.” They are drunk as well, but far away from the level of intoxication Kyungsoo is experiencing. The one with the honey colored hair gets close to him and lifts up his black shirt, exposing his stomach completely. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do, his movements extremely slowed down thanks to his condition. He hates how they are taking advantage of him.

“Look at his fat tummy”, the jock says amused, “You’re not working out at all, aren’t you? And you’re supposed to be a man?” The others laugh, but Kyungsoo feels so uncomfortable. He’s in a vulnerable state, but his perpetrators won’t allow him to cover himself up. It’s like they are flaunting the little bits of baby fat he has to the whole world as if he should feel disgusted with himself. He doesn’t want them to feel like they won this game and that he is weak though, so he keeps the “Please stop.” to himself. 

A guy in the group who has heavier stubble compared to other Korean men, starts smirking and puts his hands on Kyungsoo’s thin waist, caressing his sides. Kyungsoo squirms under the touch but the other male is too strong for him to be able to oppose.

“Look at him”, the man declares, “with his curves you would think he’s a woman. Now if he just had long hair and put on a little bit of make-up...”

He grabs the smaller boy and pulls him closer to him, Kyungsoo tries to lean away, but the stranger’s hands are still roaming his body. He takes his time to check out Kyungsoo, from his short haircut to his covered ankles.

“So feminine...”, he mumbles to himself while his hands slowly reach for his ass. Kyungsoo knows they are only doing his to make fun of him, laughing about the way his eyes search the room for an emergency exit and how he gets antsy at the intimate touches. They think he’s disgusting, but want to show their sexual dominance nonetheless. It’s so sick and twisted.

“If he was a chick I’d do him in an instant.”, one of the other guys says, gaze fixed on his body. The others erupt in drunk laughs.

Meanwhile, Jongin is coming back from his small meet-up with Yixing, having left Chanyeol behind because he wanted to talk for a few more minutes. Jongin wanted to check-up on his roommate though.

He’s glad that he went to look for him but also feels incredibly guilty as he sees the scene unfolding in front of him. The men are touching Kyungsoo inappropriately and his friend looks out of his mind, just wanting to be saved from this uncomfortable situation. _Entitled bastards. _As anger lights up inside of him, he walks up to them straight away and pulls on Kyungsoo’s arm.

“Kyungsoo...”, he calls out softly, “Let’s go.”

His dominant aura seemed to intimidate the jocks to an extent as they immediately got their hands off his friend after Jongin appeared.

He doesn’t dedicate a single word to that disgusting group when he leaves with a dazed Kyungsoo in tow, however he does not miss the chance to turn around and throw them a final hard and angry stare.

*

Jongin can’t express how worried he is. Currently they are outside, standing next to Chanyeol’s car. Kyungsoo is leaning on the car, but Jongin still keeps an arm around his shoulders to ensure nothing is happening with him. On their way to the car, Kyungsoo has stressed that he could have handled the situation himself and that everything was okay, but the look in his eyes wasn’t able to betray Jongin. 

Jongin has immediately called Chanyeol to ask him if he could drive them back to their dorm and as the designated driver who didn’t need alcohol to party anyways, he agreed and hastily bid his goodbyes to the people he was just talking to.

The rattling of Chanyeol’s keys indicated the man’s presence as he walked towards the car.

“I’ll tell you what happened later, right?”, Jongin replaces his usual greeting with a hushed tone. Chanyeol just nods and proceeds to enter the driver seat. Jongin pushes Kyungsoo into the backseat and sits down next to him, closing the door quietly after.

Chanyeol starts driving, taking a look at Kyungsoo more often than on their way to Jackson. Jongin is unbelievably nervous as the smaller male hasn’t said anything for the entire ride yet – not even some drunk blabbering. Instead, he is just looking forward, eyes half-closed and not fixed on anything while his body freely sways to the side every time they take a turn.

*

Jongin apologizes to Chanyeol for inconveniencing him and forcing him to leave the party when the car stops in front of their building. Chanyeol waves it off, but leaves it to Jongin to haul Kyungsoo’s drunk ass up the stairs to their dorm. He is glad about his roommate being an obedient and quiet drunk although he’s still a dead weight to him while they walk up the stairs.

Moreover, Jongin finds out that Kyungsoo isn’t the type to puke out all of his stomach’s content, so that’s great for him. It’s relatively easy to take care of him. He can coax Kyungsoo into taking off his clothes to change into his pajama (although the smaller vehemently opposes to wearing any pajama pants for some reason) and now Kyungsoo is simply sitting on the couch with his cheek squished on the rest. He’s half-asleep, but Jongin doesn’t want him to fall asleep just yet when he is in the middle of preparing some greasy food for his roommate.

Cooking is not his forte, but Kyungsoo is knocked out and he has to make up for not looking after him somehow. Jongin thinks even somebody like him should be able to fry some eggs and serve them with buttered toast. He prepares the simple dish with the uttermost care, seasoning the egg with salt and pepper along with some unknown spices he’s found in the cabinet, making sure the yolk is still a little bit runny and crisping up the toast in the pan with the remaining oil. He brings the food to him together with a glass of tap water and puts it down in front of the sleeping figure.

No matter how sleepy and tired the other boy is, he really needs to eat as to not feel like shit in the morning. It may be the weekend, but if Jongin remembers correctly, Kyungsoo has a rather large homework due to Monday and he just knows the smaller man would beat himself up for not doing it earlier. Jongin has already witnessed Kyungsoo pulling all-nighters because the latter spent his time binge-watching Netflix series instead of studying. And because his body always reacts really sensitive, changes in his routine always have a negative effect on him. Jongin wants his baby (yes, Kyungsoo is his cute baby, even if he doesn’t know about it yet!) to not stress too much and to be healthy, so he nudges the sleeping boy gently until he wakes up.

“Kyungsoo… You have to eat.” He pushes the plate forward, but the other just takes all the time in the world to rub his eyes with his palms, blinking up to him in drunken, incomprehensible gaze. Then, he nods and messily assembles the eggs on the toast, shoves it in his mouth and munches on it.

Jongin doesn’t have a clue if the food actually tastes good or not, because Kyungsoo is eating with a blank face, but considering that he’s drunk, hungry and hasn’t complained yet, he considers his doing a success. What Kyungsoo hasn’t been doing as well is talk. Jongin could blame it on his personality, with him only giving short answers and condensing every sentence so only a single word reply is left. Speaking from his experience with drunk people, his behavior is still weird.

He resorts to silently watching Kyungsoo, patiently waiting for him to finish eating. When Kyungsoo is done taking the last sip of his water, Jongin sits down next to him on the couch, leaving some space in between.

“Why are you so drunk? I didn’t peg you as the type to drink a lot.”, he asks, pronouncing every word clearly so that Kyungsoo can follow easily.

Kyungsoo leans forward and draws his eyebrows together. He looks mad. “I didn’t need your help. I can care for myself, I’m not a child.” His voice is slurred and he is straight up glaring at Jongin, getting his defense up with the fake persona he’s trying to maintain. “I drink how much I want to drink, that’s not your business. Everything at the party was fine. I wasn’t accustomed to a few things. That’s it. You didn’t have to play some miserable hero. I’m not your damsel in distress, I’m a man.”

Jongin didn’t expect him to answer like this.

Honestly, it hurts.

All he ever wanted to do was help his friend out, because he cares. He never intended to treat him like a child, he just wants him to be safe. And he pulled him out of the situation because Kyungsoo was clearly uncomfortable. Do his personal problems with his masculinity run so deep that he rejects any help being offered to him? It upsets Jongin. He wants Kyungsoo to be comfortable with him.

“I swear it’s not like that, Kyungsoo.”, he puts on his softest voice, “I want us to be friends who can be open with each other. Who can help each other out. If there’s something wrong, please tell me. I’ll always listen.” There is a small pause where Jongin just looks into Kyungsoo’s eyes, determined. “I was just afraid something could happen to you. It didn’t have anything to do with you being capable of handling the situation, although you were really drunk.”

His head hurts, but _fuck…_ Jongin sounds so worried. Kyungsoo feels bad for making him feel guilty. He’s still drunk and his senses are still impaired, but he thinks letting his guard down for one night can’t be that bad.

Perhaps he can be honest for one night.

If something slips out, he can just blame it on the alcohol. Nothing to worry about.

Kyungsoo lets himself sink onto the couch and pulls his legs up so that he can sit on his calves. He makes himself look smaller this way.

“I’m sorry.”, he apologizes quietly, evoking a little surprised gasp from Jongin, “I didn’t know what I was doing to be honest. One moment they embarrassed me, the next a bottle of… some alcohol, I don’t even know which one, was given to me and I was supposed to down it in one go. I wasn’t able to do it… I think it was some strong alcohol, but I quickly got drunk.”

“So you didn’t even know what you were drinking? That could’ve ended deadly!”, Jongin scolds him. He leaves out the endless what-ifs popping up in his mind. He’s more worried than angry though, so he adds: “But you’re alright now, aren’t you?”

Kyungsoo just shrugs, which doesn’t exactly soothe Jongin’s worries, but the way the older snuggles against the couch makes up for it. He blinks his eyes slowly, trying to stay awake. He looks like he’s contemplating saying something, but stopping himself last minute. Jongin waits for him to speak up first.

Only when he realizes the other has no intentions of doing so, too close on the edge of falling asleep, Jongin reaches out to pat Kyungsoo’s arm lightly.

“You wanna go to sleep?” Kyungsoo leans into the slight touch. He nods with a pout on his face and stands up, directly heading for the door on unsure feet.

Jongin shouts him a last affectionate “Don’t forget to clean up!” followed up by a “Sleep well!”. Kyungsoo doesn’t turn back, so he doesn’t know if he’s heard, but it’s the gesture that counts.

The living room is barely illuminated and it’s quiet except for the faint sound of water running in the bathroom. Jongin feels a little bit queasy and just wants to go to bed like his roommate. He decides to be a good roommate and clean up the living space, so the chaos won’t cause Kyungsoo an unnecessary headache in the morning (or rather amplify the headache the other will definitely get from consuming this much alcohol).

He quickly finishes cleaning and doesn’t miss to take a big glass of water with him to give to Kyungsoo. When he enters their shared bedroom, he’s met with the sight of a sleeping Kyungsoo, messily bundled up in his blankets. He’s facing Jongin’s bed and if Jongin listens carefully enough, he would be able to hear him breathing in and out steadily.

Although Kyungsoo appears to be perfectly fine by now, Jongin can’t help but still worry as he climbs into his bed, pulling the thin comforter over his body and trying to fall asleep with his body still on guard.

*

Kyungsoo wakes up, because maybe, he wants to vomit a bit. He feels nauseous at first, but when he sits up the discomfort starts to fade out. It’s pitch black in the room and when he squints his eyes he can make out the outline of his roommate sleeping on the bed opposite of him. It’s still night, so Kyungsoo could simply lay down again and resume his sleep, but he decides to drink the glass of water next to him and let his thoughts wander.

He’s pretty sober now. And when he relives the memory of Jackson’s party, the recent events are like a slap in the face for him. He really embarrassed himself in front of the jocks, in front of his crush and in front of his crush’s best friend. He feels terrible. Especially the body-shaming coming from the group of jocks he was “hanging out with” hit him hard. He never was the type to lift weights or go to the gym. He attends his Pilates lessons sometimes but that was basically it. Kyungsoo was a homebody who also happens to enjoy eating food and tasting new flavors all around the city, and even though his appearance never bothered himself, the comments from outsiders have always made him feel insecure and bad about his all around softer and curvier body. It’s the humiliation he received from the people at the party and how they all seemed to love toying around with his feelings and make fun of him, that made the dam inside of him break.

Upon throwing a glance at his soft belly, little hiccups and sobs start escaping him and tears that had already threatened to spill are freely making their way down Kyungsoo’s face, ultimately dripping down his chin as he pulls up his shirt slightly to expose the small rolls he has there.

Kyungsoo has always been a sensitive person who takes many things to heart and gives himself a hard time over the smallest problems. That’s why he can not stop his body from reacting this way and expressing his upset.

Jongin is normally a heavy sleeper. Someone you could throw out of the window without them noticing it. But with his body still alert, he’s prone to waking up to the smallest changes in his environment. In this case, it’s the alteration of sound. There are muffled sniffing sounds coming from the other side of the room. Kyungsoo couldn’t be possibly crying, right?

When Jongin turns around to face the other bed and sits up slightly, using his forearm to push his upper body up, he spots his roommate sitting up on his bed. Blinking several times to clear up his vision. He can see his roommate pinching the bits of baby fat he keeps on his body angrily. He quickly realizes that indeed, the other is crying.

It doesn’t take too long for Jongin to connect the dots and find out what made him feel like this. He didn’t witness the whole thing as he was chatting with Yixing and Chanyeol at the party, but he’s sure the jocks Kyungsoo has talked with had to be the ones making him upset like this.

“Kyungsoo?”, he whispers in a groggy voice. The other reacts with a surprised gasp, not having expected Jongin to wake up in the middle of the night.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin pretends to be clueless about the issue at hand.

“N-nothing”, Kyungsoo stutters and abruptly turns away from him.

“Kyungsoo...”, Jongin drags out the word and finally sits up properly, “I heard that you were crying just now.”

As if to prove him right, Kyungsoo sniffs one last time, trying to pull himself together. He doesn’t reply but simply faces the wall. Jongin thinks he may be embarrassed of showing his raw emotions. And maybe, Kyungsoo doesn’t speak up because he thought Jongin’s tone was mocking him.

“It’s okay, you know.”, Jongin stresses, “To cry, I mean. You don’t have to be tough in front of me.” There are a lot more things Jongin wants to say, but he’s not the best with poetic words, so he keeps quiet after that.

Small sobs are starting to come from Kyungsoo again. Did he say something wrong? He really doesn’t want to upset the other any further. Jongin slings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands up to approach his roommate, wanting to comfort him. They never participated in any type of skin ship with each other regularly as Kyungsoo sees Jongin as that straight dude bro and the impression goes both ways. But now, Jongin is actually reaching out to grab Kyungsoo’s arm gently, motioning him to turn around and finally face him.

Jongin is surprised at how easily Kyungsoo complies and how he doesn’t shy away from the touch. He sees it as the green light to go on and sits down on the edge of Kyungsoo’s bed. He remains in his position, just looking at Kyungsoo for a while who looks back at him.

“...Is it really that bad?”, Kyungsoo hesitates.

“What is bad?”

“The fat…like…on my body...”

“Wait, what?”, Jongin exclaims while Kyungsoo is playing with his fingers. 

“No, no of course not!”, he quickly adds, “Your body looks perfectly fine!” 

“You’re just saying that to comfort me…”, the other male mumbles. 

Jongin starts stroking Kyungsoo’s arm, rubbing his thumbs up and down soothingly. He looks straight into the others eyes. He can’t believe how anybody could not think Kyungsoo is absolutely beautiful. Beautiful from head to toe, and it includes his squishyness. They never hugged, but Jongin supposes if they did he wouldn’t be able to let go. Because his roommate looks so warm, so soft, so cuddly. He’d want to stick to his side petting that cute waist and tummy forever. Squish his full peachy cheeks together until he turns a blushing mess. He can’t believe some stupid men can make an adorable angel feel self-conscious like this. He has to set the facts straight to him.

“No, listen. I’m completely serious. You’re-...you’re…. really pretty. These guys at the party… they are bullies. You don’t have to look ripped like them. Actually, they are probably jealous as hell. And they are aggressive. They saw your body and noticed how great it is, how pretty body proportions you have. And they are homophobes, so they don’t want to admit that you’re good-looking, because you’re a man.” 

Kyungsoo blushes at the several compliments he just received. He shuffles just a tiny bit closer to Jongin. 

“You really think I’m pretty?”

“Ah, hyung… you’re making me feel embarrassed right now… Of course you are… A lot of people are always looking at you and admiring you.” Jongin has his head turned away from him to hide the redness on his face. 

“Jongin.”, Kyungsoo calls out to him, the way his voice trembles while pronouncing the two syllables reminding Jongin of his still intoxicated state. “I’m not the type of person to say things like this, but I’m drunk, so… I want you to know I’m really thankful that you’re my friend. We are friends right?”

Jongin nods eagerly at that. Of course they are! They may not have known each other for as long as Jongin knows Chanyeol or Kyungsoo knows Baekhyun, but they still look out for each other wordlessly. Jongin comes home to a warm meal and a short cute guy asking him how his day went while Jongin makes sure their stressful daily life doesn’t impact Kyungsoo’s health too much.

He always loved how simple things were between him and his roommate. They surely weren’t physically affectionate, but their actions always showed that they care about each other. Not only as roommates who have to accept their living situation, but as friends.

Kyungsoo continues speaking. “Sometimes I feel like you think I don’t appreciate your efforts of cheering me up or buying me takeout when I’m too busy to cook because you want me to eat a proper meal. But I do, you know. It always lifts my mood.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Jongin is surprised, to be honest, because his roommate has never shown this side of him before. He has always tried to appear like he doesn’t care about a single thing in the world, at least in front of him. So seeing him being touched by Jongin’s actions is completely new to him.

“Can I hug you?”, Kyungsoo then asks. The bed sheets are rustling while Jongin repositions himself to cradle Kyungsoo’s small form into his arms. Jongin rubs his back, not wanting to make it awkward by just sitting there, unmoving. In the meantime, Kyungsoo just throws his arms around Jongin’s waist and puts his head on his chest. The steady heartbeat from the other male thrums in his ears and almost lulls him to sleep. His eyes droop and Jongin feels Kyungsoo’s body becoming heavier on his chest.

It’s really comforting. Sitting on your roommates bed with him laying in your arms, on the edge of falling asleep. Kyungsoo is unconsciously clutching his waist tighter now, kneading his lean muscle with his hands like a kitten. Jongin smiles down on the black mop of hair and reaches out to pet it lightly. Kyungsoo’s arms suddenly fall from his waist to hang down loosely, and Jongin uses the opportunity to scoop the other up in his embrace, arms going around the others waist this time.

“Your body is really cuddly. You should be proud of it.”, Jongin whispers, rubbing his hands on Kyungsoo’s sides.

Kyungsoo grumbles, and Jongin can feel the vibration on his chest. It feels like Jongin is holding a baby, and not a man who’s one whole year older than him. He really wants to pinch his cheeks. 

“Sleepy?” 

“It’s the middle of the night, of course I’m sleepy, you dumbass.”, Kyungsoo pouts, voice so low that you can barely make out the words. 

“Well, I’ll leave you alone then.” With that, Jongin untangles himself from the clingy boy.

“Noooo, can’t you stay?”, Kyungsoo complains and lets his head fall onto his pillow. Jongin just shakes his head.

“I don’t think you’d appreciate it in the morning...”, he says, a sad sigh following after. He stands up and climbs into his own bed again, not daring to throw a last glance at Kyungsoo.

“Good night.”

* 

It’s close to noon, Kyungsoo figures when he wakes up. Sun rays are illuminating their bedroom, even through the closed curtains – something that only happens when the sun has wandered a certain way along the horizon. Flipping onto his side, he is faced with Jongin still sleeping peacefully on his bed, curled up in a ball, his even breaths evident with the way his chest is rising steadily. Kyungsoo looks into his sleeping face, eyes and cheeks slightly puffy. Seeing Jongin’s sharp facial features soft like this, Kyungsoo is reminded of what a heart of gold his roommate has. He remembers faintly how Jongin took care of him after they left the party and how gently he treated him.

This man just a few arm lengths away from him, sleeping like nothing in the world is able to disturb him. He suddenly feels bad. And he has been pushing him away, keeping a fake persona around him so he doesn’t find out he has the hots for him while Jongin bares himself in front of Kyungsoo. He’s trusting him and likes him regardless of his shitty behavior towards him sometimes. Because he believes that one day, Kyungsoo will open up to him.

_Shit. _

He’s about to scramble up from his bed to go to the bathroom to wallow in self-doubt, when he hears Jongin moaning faintly besides him. That means he’s about to wake up.

“Good morning.”, the taller croaks out, voice groggy from sleep. He mumbles the greeting back and is about to put on his slippers when Jongin speaks up.

“Wait. I want to say something as long as the mood from tonight is still there. I already said this but you were kinda drunk and I didn’t know if you remembered, so I wanna tell you again that you don’t need to be insecure. Not about your body and not about your personality too. I felt like you were acting more carefree around me a few hours ago. And honestly I don’t know why you are hiding yourself from me, what I did wrong. But no matter the reason, I want to tell you…. You can be who you are around me, Kyungsoo. I won’t judge you. Because I like the real you.”

Kyungsoo needs some time to process what Jongin just said. And the realization does not make him happy.

“Uh, yeah, okay, of course.”, he laughs nervously before sprinting to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He leaves his roommate more than confused. His heart is close to springing out of his rib cage when he sits down on the closed toilet seat and his brain starts putting the missing pieces of tonight together.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Kyungsoo. Why did he expose himself like that, and most importantly – why did his drunken self had to act like a clingy bitch to Jongin? Not like his current self wouldn’t cherish a cuddling session with his roommate, who has proven to be very warm and very very hug-able.

The worst thing about it all is how Kyungsoo has ruined all his chances with Jongin now. Even though the other told him that he could be honest with him, Kyungsoo can’t just tell him that he faked his personality in front of him all the time. Jongin would be so disappointed in him and feel betrayed that Kyungsoo put on an act while Jongin trusts Kyungsoo with his life after several weeks of friendship.

Okay, maybe he finally realizes his plan wasn’t the best and most well-thought out plan in the world.

He still wants to punch himself for being too open and reckless with his own feelings. He thinks he remembers most of what happened at their dorm, but then, one can never be sure with the effects of alcohol.

What if he said something really embarrassing about himself? What if he was super annoying as a drunk? Oh god, what if he slipped out that he’s attracted to Jongin in any way? (He could surely imagine his intoxicated self complimenting Jongin’s nice, toned biceps. He hopes he didn’t.)

The uncertainty of not knowing his own actions makes Kyungsoo incredibly nervous. He thinks about how to face his roommate, and he doesn’t really come to a result.

So he decides to just not face him in the first place. He should put distance between the two of them until Jongin is used to Kyungsoo’s stoic facade again. And maybe he will slowly start officially warming up to him then. Maybe sort out his feelings too.

When he tells Baekhyun about his escapade, he replies that he honestly doesn’t understand why Kyungsoo is making such a fuss out of such a small issue. Jongin was acting just fine and normal toward him, so why is his best friend stressing out so much? But Kyungsoo just scream-whispers into the phone how Baekhyun doesn’t know Jongin and that he’s a pure boy who’s probably hurt easily.

Baekhyun just sighs and says: “You’re such a drama queen” before he changes the topic.

*

If he had to choose the calmest, in general most peaceful and composed person on the campus, Sehun would definitely go with Jongin. He only befriended him at the start of the semester when they ended up in dancing class together, but he dares to say that he already knows him quite well. As one of Kyungsoo’s closest friends, it was a given for him to get to know his roommate, especially when they see each other multiple times a week. They are not awfully close, still warming up to each other through shallow conversations, but Sehun can pick up on other’s moods and behavior easily.

While it’s just normal that Jongin too, freaks out sometimes like every human, this is the most annoyed he has seen him in a while. From the way he throws his sports bag onto the practice floor to the way he can’t stop dancing, clearly restless.

As the leader of the dance practice room, his distressed behavior impacts the whole dynamic of their dance group. Sehun stays in the gym together with Jongin after class is dismissed to find out what has made him this cranky.

To his surprise, Jongin immediately starts rambling as he sits down on the couch plastered to the wall.

“I know you’re his friend, so I don’t want to talk behind his back or anything, and it isn’t like I dislike him or anything, okay? Actually he’s really nice and stuff and also cute, but please don’t tell him I said that he hates me – oh wait I actually already did and he started ignoring me ever since so yeah pretty cool right? Well to get to the point I was already used to him being rather closed off, you know? I thought his personality was just like that…

Well then yesterday after we went to this house party, he got drunk – really bad decision by the way – and we talked a bit and he started being so honest and stuff to me and I really thought we finally broke the ice… Then when I greeted him in the morning and wanted to give him one last cheerful message he just fled? Can you believe this?”

Sehun has to refrain from chuckling, being able to imagine Kyungsoo chickening out of having a lovey dovey conversation with his crush, but keeps a poker face for Jongin’s sake.

“I thought, well maybe it’s something else. Maybe he just really has to pee, I don’t know! So I waited for him to make the first move, maybe say ‘thank you’ or just acknowledge the progress in our relationship in any way – but he just went and made breakfast without even talking to me properly! I was trying to make conversation with him but he just went to eat in our bedroom which is weird because whenever he cooks for us we eat together in the living room – I mean we don’t talk that much on those occasions either but this was different! Why won’t he talk to me… He just sits on his bed and watches Netflix...”, Jongin whines.

“And don’t get me started on his weird stance on sexuality. I really don’t want to offend him, but I’m genuinely asking… Is he an incel or something? He seems to love women, like a lot. He’s leaving his laptop open with videos like “Big Tit Milf Mom Getting Her Pussy Demolished By Her Hung Step Son”. And even if it’s clear that I hear those stupid moans or see a handful of breast on the laptop screen he just won’t stop! Also why is it always white women?!

Does he want me to know he’s constantly horny? Why would he? Does he have some sort of complex? But then if I think about it I have never seen him around a woman. He’s good-looking and polite, there got to be women interested in him, right? Or maybe he’s a creep to begin with? How was he in high school? Was he this weird with girls too? Don’t tell me he’s like those guys trying to revenge all the girls who ignored him in school… But then I can’t imagine him being like that.”

This time, Sehun laughs shamelessly besides him.

“I’m pissing myself… This is the funniest shit ever.”, he wheezes, slapping his own thighs. “Listen, I didn’t wanna involve myself in this whole thing because it’s not my business, and I actually didn’t know a lot about how Kyungsoo was acting around you, but… he’s so stupid.”

Sehun bursts out in laughter again, meanwhile Jongin just tries to make sense of his odd behavior.

“I gotta tell you the truth – Sorry Soo, man, but you brought his upon yourself – you know Jongin, it’s painfully obvious that you have a crush on my little friend.”

Jongin blushes deeply at that, stammering out his reply, “I rarely crush on people, so this is weird for me, okay? I don’t know how to act. If I’m too obvious, too oblivious or everything in between. Don’t tell me he thinks I’m weird… I bet it will go away soon.”

Sehun leans a bit forward and tilts his head.

“Actually, no. What if I told you your crush is reciprocated? That Kyungsoo acts like a dumb ass because he really really likes you and thinks you’re attractive?”

“Wait, you’re serious? How does that make sense?”, Jongin says, sitting up straight at the confession and looking at his dancing partner in disbelief.

“Your boy thinks you’re straight and that you were a jock in the beginning, you know. And he had the hots for you the moment he saw you probably, but didn’t want you to even get the idea of him being attracted to you and gay.”

“Do I really look like a homophobe?!”

“Not really, Kyungsoo is just a stubborn airhead sometimes. He’s a little hurt bitch because all of his previous crushes have been straight.”

“Oh… But what should I do now? Do I just go to our dorm and confess? Or do I prepare something? How do people do this?” To date, Jongin has spent the majority of his life dedicated to his passions and studying. There was neither time to think about love nor a suitable person for him to fall in love with. Now that he’s finally crushing on somebody, he has no idea how to approach the situation.

Sehun looks around the room, looking like he’s in the middle of contemplating something, before he turns to Jongin with a smirk on his face.

“You know Jongin, you’re really handsome and attractive. Believe me, Kyungsoo told me about it often enough. And Kyungsoo has been acting really stubborn and stupid. So how about you giving him a taste of his own medicine?”, he proposes.

“What do you mean?”

“He was basically denying you to get into his pants for no reason since you two started being roommates. Don’t you think that’s unfair? How about bullying him a bit for his actions? You know, nothing too grave… Just tease him back a bit – now with your knowledge that he’s hungry for some dick.”

“Isn’t that too mean? I don’t wanna scare him off.”

“Nah, you know, just do some suggestive things and play all dumb and oblivious. Look at how flustered he gets and let’s find out how much longer he can withstand your teasing without his facade breaking. I wanna see him embarrass himself in front of you so bad, you wouldn’t know.”

“Also… Instead of just jumping right into the action, wouldn’t it be _fun _to edge your dear roommate a little bit.. imagine if he actually starts begging or creams his pants, I’m gonna lose it.”, Sehun adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jongin feels embarrassed, as the blush on his face tells his dancing partner quickly, but he can’t say that he disagrees with what Sehun just said.

“Yeah.. okay, I guess he has been treating me a bit unfairly...”, he laughs it off while scratching his neck and laughing nervously.

“Jongin, you don’t have to act all goody-two shoes in front of me, admit you wanna rile him up too. I know you’re nasty.”, Sehun says, “Always ogling his ass through the mirror when he comes by after Pilates class to pick you up from dancing.”

“You didn’t have to read me like this!”

*

Because it’s getting late, they start packing their things together and pretend to clean up by wiping their sweat off with towels. They chit chat comfortably as Sehun turns off all the lights and closes the windows while Jongin waits outside with the keys to the gym in his hand, ready to lock the studio.

When Sehun and Jongin are finally on their way home and part ways, Jongin grips his sports bag a bit tighter and his foot steps get lighter, almost making him skip the way to his dorm.

“Kyungsoo-hyung has a crush on me. Oh my god. Kyungsoo-hyung is crushing on me.” He can’t help but be giddy and smile down to himself as he makes his way up the stairs.

*

Now that Jongin knows why Kyungsoo has been acting so weird towards him, he realizes that maybe Sehun was right about him getting back at his roommate. After all, he was the one that forced Jongin to listen to all of those terribly faked porn moans at night while he was just trying to sleep.

Not to forget that his whole “genius” pretend-to-be-straight plan was dumb as hell to begin with. Jongin had to admit that, even if he harbored feelings for the other. How did the boy genuinely think that was a fool-proof idea? Jongin wonders why his friends allowed him to go through with something this ridiculous. Maybe he is just stubborn to begin with. And his friends may or may not take a liking in slightly bullying their precious friend – if his failures are self-induced.

(And he still doesn’t know what made Kyungsoo think he was a straight jock alpha male. Somebody please tell him so he can change his behavior immediately.)

As much as Jongin hates to say Sehun was right… Sehun was right. Jongin can’t deny that the thought of teasing Kyungsoo makes _some things _at his lower body parts twitch. But he still doesn’t want to do anything that could make the other uncomfortable or exploit him of course. He’s just going to allow himself to be a little bit more flirtatious towards the other. Maybe send out some more obvious signs and wonder how long that negative first impression of him being a total straight dude will last until Kyungsoo finally gets that Jongin thinks he is really cute.

It’s also a good way to make amends from their little one-sided argument earlier. Kyungsoo needs to let loose in his presence and become his real friend before Jongin feels comfortable with asking him out. He wants to get to know the other better and not just jump right into a relationship. Call him sappy, but he wants to have a steady foundation in their platonic relationship first before he is ready for anything else.

But he’s to broke right now to try making a move at him in the cinema theater, so he has to settle with something else.

_A platonic round of Netflix and Chill it is, then,_ Jongin decides._  
_


	2. Maybe You're Not As Bro As I Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i'm sorry for taking so long to update! i started university after posting the first chapter so i hope u guys understand!
> 
> second of all just a heads up that i'm gonna be referencing the movie "call me by your name" in this chapter. if u liked the movie, then i'm sorry for portraying it like this in this chapter or whatever, but don't take any opinion on this to heart since this wasn't supposed to be a dissection/critique of the movie or anything but i just kinda used it as a stylistic device for the plot. so i think u should be able to enjoy this regardless of if u hate or love the actual movie! 
> 
> also, in case any of you are confused: the guyoung i'm referring to in this chapter is baek guyoung aka. mihawk! :)

It’s Friday and because they both don’t have any classes today, they sleep in and only wake up at noon. Jongin spends his time stretching like a cat while Kyungsoo pours two cups of tea. They continue doing their own things - Jongin lays in bed half napping, half listening to music. His roommate is in the other room chatting, procrastinating, working? Jongin doesn’t really know. 

Evening comes soon and Jongin thinks this might be the perfect time to invite Kyungsoo to watch a movie with him. He’s sure the other is bored out of his mind as well, so spending some time together could be good for both bonding and tackling the monotony of the day. 

Jongin finds Kyungsoo sprawled out on the sofa. The stack of books and opened notebook on top of the coffee table would give you the impression that the boy has been preparing for his next lecture, but one glance at his laptop says otherwise. He’s aimlessly scrolling through Amazon, putting a bunch of stuff on his wish list that he knows he’ll never actually buy anything from ever in the future. 

It’s an ideal opportunity to intervene.

“So…”, Jongin drags out to catch his friend’s attention, “I asked this girl friend of mine to recommend a movie to me and she said she watched one recently that reminded her of myself in a way? I love pretty things, pretty landscapes, pretty and honest words. She told me that movie was artistic and had a summertime whirlwind romance feel to it. I love looking for inspiration for new dance concepts too… And because I always see you watching movies in your freetime, I was wondering if you wanted to watch it together with me?”

Actually, there is no girl friend waxing about this movie. Jongin was merely asking another female dancer in his course named Seulgi about what type of movie he could watch with his roommate. It was a given that she knew about Kyungsoo-gate as well, so she channeled Sehun’s chaotic energy and proposed Jongin to watch a gay movie with him. Somehow it ended with him writing down the title “Call Me By Your Name”. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t react immediately. Jongin doesn’t know if it’s because he’s thrown off by the idea or if he just needs a little more time to process what he just said.

“Unless there’s another movie you really, really wanna watch?”, he adds, just to be safe.

The smaller pushes his glasses up and wrinkles his nose, more out of habit than disdain. His heart flutters at the thought of his crush wanting to spend time together with him. Especially the mention of movies makes him happy, because Jongin cares enough to remember this fact about him. 

“Oh no, it’s fine, as long as it isn’t a movie I’ve watched before I’d be happy to watch one together with you.”, he tries to sound casual, “You’re right, I do have a little obsession with cinematography so I guess most movies are interesting to me. Because there are so many aspects to dissect and interpret and I think that’s fun - looking at hidden meanings and the usage of symbols.”

Jongin nods along and offers the older an easy smile when he’s done talking. Now that the fundament is all laid out, he has to move on playing pretend with the next step. 

He enters the name of the movie with a straight face in his Netflix search bar. And while Kyungsoo doesn’t recognize the title, the movie poster that pops up makes him curious about the nature of the film. He feels like he knows that one... Two men leaning against each other under a bright blue sky… The realisation finally dawns upon him when he looks at the description. 

_ In the summer of 1983, 17-year-old Elio forms a life-changing bond with his father's charismatic research assistant Oliver in the Italian countryside. _

Life-changing bond… Yup, this movie is about a homosexual relationship. Or wait. More like, fuck, this movie is about a homosexual relationship?! 

The surprise on Kyungsoo’s face is obvious, his mouth opened and eyes a little wide. Jongin wants to snicker at the other’s cuteness, but he needs to act like he didn’t expect this too, afterall. 

“Oh, um, I didn’t know this was about a relationship between two men, as it seems.”, he fumbles with the remote so the cursor moves on the TV screen wildly. “Does it bother you? I don’t really mind since my friend recommended this to me because of the artistry and the setting…”

By now, Kyungsoo knows that he had judged his roommate too quickly. By now, Kyungsoo knows that Jongin is supportive of homosexuality, or that at least, he definitely respects it. It makes him glad, but also nervous. 

He is also aware that to stay in character, maybe he should be against the whole thing and be vocal about it. On the other hand, he wouldn’t want to beg him to watch something else because he doesn’t want Jongin to be disappointed in him and interpret his behaviour as straight-up homophobia. Kyungsoo knows he already went far, but even he doesn’t want to stoop this low. 

Acting all enthusiastic towards the idea would be out of character for his dude bro Kyungsoo persona as well, even if he actually does feel kinda weird watching a movie like this with _ Jongin _ as a gay man. 

So he settles for what he guesses is the most commonly accepted straight male response to this.

“No, dude, I have nothing against gays, watching it is just gonna be a little bit weird to me. But I don’t mind. I’m not a pussy that I can’t stand two guys making out, right.”

Jongin can only allow himself to crack up internally at that statement. Kyungsoo is pretty creative with what he says, he has to admit that. 

“It’s settled then. I’m gonna get us something to eat and something to drink and then you can start it, okay?”, he says. He reaches out to press he remote into Kyungsoo’s hand and stands up. 

The smaller looks down on the remote, still a little warm from the hand previously holding it.

So here he is, sitting on their shared sofa. A gay closeted man pretending to be a straight bro about to watch a gay movie with his straight LGBT ally. 

What a mess.

He kind of wishes he had rejected the idea of watching this movie now that he has some space for his mind to just… express its thoughts. Because hell does he know about if there are R-rated or other intimate scenes included in there. He doesn’t know if he could call it a secret per se, but Kyungsoo has always felt like he was more sensitive than other people. That he responds to intimacy and portrayals of intimacy strongly without really wanting to. In the physical way.

Kyungsoo does NOT want Jongin to know how easily he is aroused. His imagination is truly a colorful place.

Soon enough, Jongin comes back with a small bowl filled with  _ nuts  _ (Kyungsoo wonders if the universe is trying to fuck with him on purpose) and a bottle of diet coke. He puts the items down together with two red solo cups out of a stack Chanyeol has forgotten here once. 

They start watching the movie and everything starts off innocent enough. There is a respectable distance between the two of them, which is good. Very good. 

Yet, Kyungsoo feels nervous. Whenever he’s readjusting his glasses or squinting to catch the small details on set, he feels Jongin’s gaze on him. And Kyungsoo has  _ bad _ eyesight. 

What he wants to say is - he feels like Jongin is staring at him. It’s unsettling for him because he doesn’t know what the other male wants from him and why he’s glancing so often. 

Is he playing some sort of mind game with him? Does he want to know how he reacts to seeing homoerotically coded scenes? Is this some test? Maybe Jongin has caught up with the fact he’s not straight after  _ that one night _ . What if this is his way to prove if his theory was right? 

_ Don’t panic, Kyungsoo _ , he says to himself,  _ Just do what you do best. Reinforce your masculinity and everything will be fine.  _

They are about halfway through the movie when Kyungsoo turns to Jongin and says, “I don’t know why they would need to make them lovers though. They just look like close friends.”

Jongin raises his eyebrows. Apart from that, he forces himself to look stoic, “It's a romance movie… it’s supposed to be about longing, slow burn and all that. Don’t be like that.” Kyungsoo is really spewing out somw questionable things.

He hesitates for a second before defending himself. “I'm just saying that this could have been a reasonable movie about friendship too. Friends act close and playful with each other like that all the time.”

_ Like that?, _ Jongin wonders,  _ Oliver was close to eating that other dude's ass out when he acted all suggestive playing sports. _

Kyungsoo has been doing the most to fuck with Jongin already, so the latter thinks it's time for him to respond accordingly.

"Hm, I see, that's what you think a friendship is like.", he says. The older can't decipher his tone. "If that's what you think, then why are you so shy and sitting on the edge of this sofa then? Aren't we  _ friends  _ too?"

Kyungsoo picks up the teasing melody now. He doesn't know if that was a rhetorical question from him or a real order, so he doesn't budge at Jongin's inviting hand motion.

Seeing that his roommate doesn't move at all, Jongin takes matters into his own hands. He turns his body around and lowers his head on Kyungsoo’s lap wordlessly. 

“Is this okay?”, he asks, squeezing Kyungsoo’s thigh right above his knee. He sounds like he’s asking for permission, but internally he has made up his mind already and is getting cozy. He bends his knees so that his legs fit the rather small couch comfortably. 

“Oh, if you wanna lay down like that, yeah, I don’t mind. I mean it’s nothing weird right, just as i said.”

Jongin takes an awful long time to settle his head on the other’s lap. He really doesn’t seem in a hurry figuring out the most comfortable position at all. Kyungsoo hopes that he stays the fuck away from his dick for the sake of his own sanity. 

But him and Jongin are officially cool now. They are friends and Kyungsoo has basically declared that he thinks excessive skinship between friends is completely normal. In an attempt to further prove his point to his roomate, Kyungsoo awkwardly starts patting Jongin’s head. The thick brown strands are so soft that he can’t help but absentmindedly card his hand through the hair some more. 

Maybe he even massaged the warm scalp lightly with his fingertips for a split second. 

Jongin is basking under the attention he receives from Kyungsoo, and it feels good to have the other initiate physical contact with him too, even if he kind of tricked him into doing it. He can’t say he feels guilty for anything though, because he basically melts under his roommate’s touch, body relaxing with the soothing strokes through his hair. 

The moment Jongin sighs contently, the hand suddenly disappears and out of the corner of his eye, the taller can fleetingly make out the hand falling down flat against the sofa again.

As the movie progresses, Jongin feels his head getting heavier and his eyelids fluttering. Kyungsoo’s thighs are so thick, soft and warm that he feels like he’s being lulled to sleep by them. He wishes he could leave a light kiss on the clothed thigh, feel the plush thigh dip under his lips while he worships it. 

Jongin is feeling so light-headed and giddy from being this close to his crush that the next scene in the movie makes him feel inspired all of a sudden. 

The protagonists are laying in the grass, bathing in the afternoon sunlight. All of a sudden, Oliver reaches over to to trace Elio’s parted lips with his finger and follows to cradle his jaw gently. 

Jongin opens his mouth obscenely, tongue peeking out as he cranes his neck to look into Kyungsoo’s face, head still resting on the other’s lap. His eyes glisten with cheekiness as he playfully suggests Kyungsoo to reenact the scene with him.

Not only does Kyungsoo have to swallow down the feelings that are bubbling up, he also has to pretend he doesn’t have to swallow hard because of the sight beneath him. Those lips  _ do _ look really inviting though. Jongin’s lips always look a little rough, like he could use more chapstick on them - but they are so red and plump that there’s nothing he’d like to do more in this situation than to lean down and capture them with his own pair. 

However, what he ends up saying is: “I’m not gonna stick my finger into your mouth, bro.”

He’s biting back the “I _ ’d rather have it the other way around... me coating your fingers with saliva and then make you prep me so good.” _

“They are actors so it’s fine, but doing that in real life is kinda gay.”, he adds.

For once in his life, Jongin laughs shamelessly beneath him and mutters “That’s the whole purpose of it” under his breath. Kyungsoo can feel the vibration of his laugh on his own thighs. It’s kind of endearing. 

It’s quiet for a moment as they watch the on screen pair kiss.

“...Do you know what’s kinda fascinating about this scene for me?”, Jongin asks calmly, looking up to the ceiling. Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“Hm?”

In a swift motion, Jongin sits up straight (Wow, he’s gotta have killer abs to do that without moving like a fish) and faces Kyungsoo. He puts his right thumb on Kyungsoo’s chin, ready to deliver a pretentious speech that he definitely did not pull out of his ass in a span of two seconds. The thumb subtly wanders lower, caressing the soft skin of his neck.

“ In movies, I feel like the directors disregard the aspect of genuine and innocent sensuality when they introduce the relationship between a man and a woman. Apparently being heterosexual is enough to suggest chemistry between two characters. They just press their mouths together and that’s the perfect foundation for a romance. But this...”, he traces Kyungsoo’s jaw with the same hand he held his chin in place with. He takes a couple seconds to openly stare at the other – who just can’t bring himself to meet Jongin’s eyes and looks away – and then gently moves Kyungsoo’s chin to force him to look at him. 

The tips of his fingers tickle Kyungsoo’s short black hair as Jongin pulls himself closer to the other male – their faces barely two inches apart from each other. Kyungsoo’s heart is beating like crazy, but he only has two options. Fight or flight.

Leaning forward and kissing Jongin? In theory? God yes. In real life? Absolutely not. No way.  _ No way.  _

So he leans back, awkwardly grimacing as he pretends to be mildly appalled by the close proximity.

“What are you doing?” He’s still craning his neck to put more artificial distance between the two of them. When Jongin simply laughs and pats his leg in passing - this time completely platonically - Kyungsoo relaxes again. His tense shoulders sag down. 

“See, you flinched because this was too intimate for you”, Jongin explains matter-of-factedly and just leans back on the couch again as if nothing ever happened. It sounds so devoid of any ‘strings-attached’ that it hurts. “It’s because of the anticipation you feel. You know something is going to happen and it’s making your heart race. A great device to consider using for the sake of both actors and viewers.”

The moment Kyungsoo takes a silent deep breath and tries to collect himself again, Jongin just has to speak up and confuse him even more again. 

After having kissed while Jongin felt the need to imitate the movie scene with Kyungsoo, Elio and Oliver are sitting next to each other now. No rolling around the grass anymore. 

The atmosphere in their room gets awkward when Elio extends his arm and grabs Oliver’s dick for no tangible reason at all.

“This reminds me of something.” Jongin appears to be in deep thought.

“What?! How does a dude grabbing another dude’s um… junk remind you of something? Or… Do you have experience…? Is that why you -”

Jongin cuts him off before he can finish verbalising his confusion. And giggles. 

“You’ve never played gay chicken in high school before? Not that I was playing that regularly or anything, I only did it once at summer camp. Everybody was bored as hell and Yixing thought it would be funny to try and make each other as uncomfortable as possible, so I ended up having to massage Yixing’s dick through his jeans for about 10 seconds I think… It was super weird because he just relaxed and said it felt relieving to him? Not in the sexual way, but in the way that he actually thanked me afterwards because his crotch was itching against the stiff jean material but he didn’t want to blatantly rearrange his dick in his pants like that in front of us.” After finishing the sentence, he wistfully looks into the distance and draws his brows together.

“In retrospect, I gotta stay that this was a really weird experience. His dick felt like an earth worm, just with bigger circumference, I guess.”

“Is this really a normal thing guys do…? I think if somebody proposed this idea at my highschool they’d get beaten up.”

“Well i guess it doesn’t matter. Because if we played gay chicken together you’d lose anyways.”, Jongin responds smugly. 

“If we’re playing this type of game I’m completely happy with losing. What would I even gain from winning this? There’s no prize!”

“Of course there’s a prize!”, his voice is cheery and Jongin puts an arm around Kyungsoo’s petite waist, smushing their sides and also their cheeks together, “You get to be affectionate with a cutie like me!”

“You’d be a ‘cutie’ 30cm shorter and with C-cup breasts at best for me, don’t flatter yourself.”, Kyungsoo huffs.

“So you’re more the Danny Devito kind of guy?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

Kyungsoo crosses his arms in front of his chest, accompanied by an involuntarily but automatically forming pout on his face.

“Aww, you don’t need to say things like that in front of me. I bet a tiny guy like you wants to be the little spoon getting pampered sometimes too.” And without any attempt of showing resistance by Kyungsoo, Jongin can easily grab his right shoulder and pull the other boy completely onto his body. 

The smaller male’s face is smushed against the toned, albeit clothed, chest and he can’t even bring himself to be mad at Jongin for provoking him like that. He loves Jongin’s playfulness around him, the way he’s comfortable enough with Kyungsoo to joke around with him. It makes his chest feel all tight of a sudden, so he doesn’t scold the younger. 

By not fighting back, Kyungsoo knows that he looks like he surrendered in front of Jongin. His roommate told him that he’s allowed to let loose around him. Kyungsoo thinks he’s going to listen to his advice for once. 

He turns his head around to peek at the TV that’s still playing the movie and lightly pounds against Jongin’s chest with his head.

“Jongin, we missed out on like 5 minutes of the movie because of you”, he allows himself to whine into the nice set of pecs his face is currently buried in. 

Jongin couldn't care less about that oscar-baiting movie. Still, since he knows how great Kyungsoo's enthusiasm towards movies is, he gently shoves him away and mutters a small “I'm sorry” along with that. 

They watch the screen silently, the male protagonists sitting on the bed now, solely gazing into each other's eyes. When the camera pans to their feet, Kyungsoo expects the scene to turn even more sappy and cheesy by making the protagonists play footsie with each other.

It turns out quickly that - Oh boy, he was wrong. In a matter of seconds, the situation escalades and there are no soft stares anymore. Elio is straddling his boyfriend’s lap and it leads to hands roaming all over the younger’s smaller back. 

His brain, to put it simple, shuts down completely. 

Not because he’s attracted to the actors per se, in general white Italian men from the 80s are not really his type, it’s just that his mind has instantly inserted him and Jongin into the situation playing on the screen.

In his mind, it’s Jongin who grabs his thighs to pull him on top of his lap. It’s Jongin who looks like him like he’s his entire world while his sturdy hands are riding up his back. He would shiver under the powerful touches, his arms would wind themselves around Jongin’s thick neck, maybe feel some of that stubble too. He’d finally lower himself onto Jongin’s lap and slowly start rocking against the other’s crotch with hands around his waist keeping him steady. 

Then, just like with the actors, their lips would  _ finally  _ meet and Kyungsoo would be able to prove if Jongin’s lips are as warm and kissable as they look. Jongin would be wanting to be gentle with him, but upon seeing Kyungsoo’s eagerness, he would be grabbing his face with force and drawing the smaller male even closer to him - still kissing. 

At this point, Kyungsoo would be able to make out low grunts and ragged breathing from the younger while he himself would unabashedly moan from the pleasure. Kyungsoo has this feeling in his gut that Jongin is the type to _ love giving _ and that he would be turned on by his lover’s responses a lot. 

In Jongin’s presence, he wouldn’t even be ashamed of showing his body anymore. He’d take off his shirt like Elio does in the screen and let Jongin have his way with him. He imagines Jongin kissing his stomach too, tracing the skin under his navel with his lips but not going further down yet. He remembers Jongin telling him his body was pretty that one night he was drunk. Kyungsoo wasn’t trying to fish for compliments at all when he was telling him about his insecurities, and yet Jongin felt the need to tell him he looked beautiful the way he is. Despite being intoxicated, Kyungsoo could still make out that Jongin was a hundred percent genuine with his statements that night.

Of course Jongin’s shirt would be gone soon as well. He wouldn’t miss the opportunity to thirst over Jongin’s glorious (upper) body and stare at his taut stomach. By then, he’d be spread out on the bed with Jongin hovering over him, who, on the other hand, would be busy pulling down his own pants and putting one of his legs betwen his own. It would be rubbing against his confined dick in all the right ways and he’d feel all hot when Jongin makes a teasing thrusting motion and - it’s time to stop there.

The boy is doing everything to keep down a boner, but his sweatpants are betraying him. They can’t help getting tighter around him.

He discreetly tries to fish a pillow and immediately puts it on top of his lap. Jongin sees him fumbling around and doesn’t miss the chance to comment on it: “Oh I see this scene got you feeling some type of way.” 

"I’m not gay!”, Kyungsoo shrieks. 

“Okay, okay.”, Jongin answers and puts his hands up in defence. Feigning innocence, he gestures to the pillow resting on Kyungsoo's lap, “I wish I had a cushion right now though, my back kinda hurts.”

Kyungsoo knows he's fucking with him.

“Well get your own pillow then.”, his voice is a little bit shaky. 

“Nah, I don’t wanna stand up. I guess I'm just gonna lay down again then. You know, to relieve my spine.” Jongin lowers his head, aiming for the pillow perched on Kyungsoo’s lap. But before he’s even able to lay down and get cozy, his roommate is slapping him lightly on his temple.

Indirect kisses are so 2012, indirect dick touches are the things making your heart speed up like crazy nowadays. Kyungsoo wouldn’t put his own life on the line like that. 

“Do you  _ have  _ to put your head on my lap for that?”, he replies with an irritated voice, hand still raised in the case of Jongin daring to come close to his private parts again. 

Jongin leans back to sit on the sofa properly again with a slight thump, the little smirk on his face hidden in poor attempt. He can’t help it - teasing him is so funny because Kyungsoo is super responsive and easy to irritate. 

“If I didn’t know different I’d think you really have a boner.”, Jongin remarks bluntly, voice tinted with suggestiveness. He drops the topic right after and diverts his attention back to the television. The taller doesn’t even have to look him in the face to know Kyungsoo’s pupils are shifting left and right nervously, looking out for an emergency exit.    
  


“The scenery is indeed pretty, don’t you think? My friend was right, the earth tones and hues are really pretty. The visuals were bright and energizing.”, Jongin says when the end credits start rolling. 

“Oh…. yeah, you’re right. I love the nature, the shots outside look beautiful. whoever was responsible for the composition did really well.”, is what Kyungsoo musters up as an answer. He's surprised at not surprised at the same time that Jongin has been commenting on the visuals and style of shooting instead of scenes like Oliver literally eating a peach filled with cum from his lover. That was a weird experience. He does not want to try this out with Jongin anytime soon. 

“And what does mister I-basically-majored-in-cinematography have to say about the movie itself?”

“Can I be honest with you? It was kinda pretentious.” Usually, Kyungsoo would simply keep quiet and not bother sharing his thoughts since most people only ask him for his opinion out of politeness anyways. But with Jongin, he feels like the man is genuinely interested in what he has to say, he feels like Jongin genuinely values him. And the movie honestly bothered him too, so it feels good letting out steam for once. 

When Kyungsoo gauges Jongin's reaction, he just sees the other one looking at him with a straight face. He guesses Jongin wants him to further explain.

“See, the visuals were good and it all had that vintage sensual and romantic vibe but where was the dialogue between Elio and Oliver? It was just full of hot air for me. How exactly did they fall in love? What exactly do they even like about each other except for their artsy philosophical stuff? Also, why the hell do they call each other by their own names? I don’t care what symbolism is supposed to be behind it but it just doesn’t make any sense and it sounds weird and awkward.”

He has a lot more to say about the LGBT themes and messages that were conveyed more or less directly, but he keeps quiet. The straight pals he’s acquainted with don’t know shit about the community and representation in media at all, so why would straight dudebro Kyungsoo know any of it?

Jongin nods multiple times while listening to Kyungsoo's little (and cute!) rambling. The way he tends to stomp with his feet and huff when he's annoyed is so endearing that Jongin feels like melting into a puddle of goo right here on the sofa. Aside from that, the smaller guy would actually be a great movie buddy for him as their share the same opinions and seem to be interested in the same genres. 

Putting that aside, he did not propose that whole idea because he wanted to watch that movie in the first place anyways. To be frank, he just wanted to mess with Kyungsoo a little bit.

“Oh yeah it was  _ sooooo _ pretentious, flat characters and stuff”, he says, “Ok, so would you top or bottom?”

“Excuse me?!” Did Kyungsoo just hear that correctly?

“Yeah I’m sorry, that movie didn’t really catch me. So I just cut the crap and got to the  _ real _ questions.”

“And you’re expecting  _ me _ , a straight man, to say that I’d be anything other than an exclusive top?”, he spits out. Kyungsoo didn’t rehearse that question. He would never have expected Jongin to be this straight-forward and ask questions about his  _ position in bed _ . 

He feels bad though. He’s proud to say he loves bottoming and that he worked hard for his ass to be as fat as it is today. He feels like he’s being unfaithful to his own personality. There is also a small voice in his head luring him to tell Jongin he’d bare his ass in front of him right now if he asked nicely. But that feral side in him needs to be contained for today. 

Jongin rolls his eyes. “You’re so boring. Some men like to be pegged by their girlfriends too, it’s about pleasure and dynamics and not about masculinity.”

“What are you trying to say? Do you wanna convince me bottoming is all cool and whatever because you would like taking it up the ass? Have whatever preferences you wanna have, but I’m fine being on top. I can’t imagine being under control of somebody when dominating your partner is like.. the biggest turn on for every man!”, he hisses. Kyungsoo’s disgusted by his own words, but he is patting himself on the back for his realistic acting performance.

Now that sounds like a challenge Jongin would gladly take on. Kyungsoo is clearly trying to provoke him, make him mad - and he’s having none of it. 

He presses down on the middle of Kyungsoo’s chest and with how light his body is, it doesn’t take much impact for his back to fall down flatly on the couch. There’s a hollow sound when his back meets the scrawny surface that elicites a small gasp out of Kyungsoo. Jongin swiftly squeezes his right leg in the tight space between Kyungsoo’s thigh and the backrest and smoothly straddles him. The palms of his hands come to rest somewhere on the crammed space beside ksoos head. 

Jongin knows he’s the one teasing Kyungsoo and not the other way around, still, he can’t stop his own heart from thrumming heavily in his ribcage. The smaller is laying there underneath him and doesn’t even try to break out of the submissive position he’s in. He’s just laying there, arms drawn close to his chest as he tries to keep his breathing even. His eyes look so big and naturally glossy from Jongin’s angle. Even his round pointed nose and his nostrils look cute to him. 

But this is not the time to write mental sonnets about his beauty. 

“If I was gay I would be a top.”, Jongin breathes out. To him, it comes out shakier than he’d like it to be. Fortunately, Kyungsoo doesn’t catch any of that. There is just a pile of windows crash reports popping up in his head. His RAM has started declining since he met Jongin, he’s sure of that. 

Kyungsoo does catch the “If” of his suggestive message, though. _ If _ he was gay - that means he’s straight. The logic is as simple as it gets. 

“Yeah? Why?”, Kyungsoo meant it to come out sounding cocky and challenging, but he just sounds desperate. The thighs bracketing his legs are so strong and press his own legs together without effort. Jongin can casually lift up one of the arms he uses for support and rely on just one without his arm shaking. Apart from his physical superiority, Jongin’s aura is what makes his legs shake. Jongin does it so easily - that smouldering gaze. Even the strands of his hair fall down perfectly, and every scrunch of his face pronounces his manly features.

He feels humiliated by Jongin and how the younger wants to show him he has the upper hand in their little game so badly. He knows both Jongin and him know who’s in control, and who  _ wants _ to be in control. Jongin is proving him and his statement wrong and enjoys every second of it. 

He feels humiliated and it feels  _ so good. _

_ What the fuck is going on with me? _

“First of all, my ass is flatter than cardboard, I wouldn’t wish having to pound into this upon anybody.”, Jongin responds with a chuckle, “Second of all, I like guiding people and making them feel good. I like caring for them. I’m all about giving, seeing my partner in bliss and begging for me is so... _ hot _ .”

“And third, I’m a dancer.”

With those words and a cheeky wink to accompany them, he climbs off of Kyungsoo and stands up. 

“Well, I’m going to work on my assignment now. feel free to take a long shower.”

_ Kim Jongin, you bastard.  _

  
  


*

Jongin doesn’t bring up that whole topic again, and neither does Kyungsoo. Coincidentally, their conversation comes into his mind again when he spots Jongin’s friend Yixing on his way to the library. 

He walks up to the Chinese student to greet him politely. They have seen each other multiple times after Yixing returned to Korea since Kyungsoo still picks up Jongin from dance practice regularly. Jongin once told him how the guys at the studio are always anticipating his presence. They say that Kyungsoo is so nice and like a ray of sunshine to them since he enjoys the little snippets of choreography he gets to see so much. Albeit he doesn’t know a lot about dance and what’s considered good technique, he has always admired dancers and their art. It fascinates him.

Jongin has only recently started to tell him more about his social group and how they see him, and Kyungsoo can’t help to get flustered hearing the little anecdotes and that apparently, he’s well liked. 

He and Yixing chit chat for a while about their latest assignments, their hobbies and what they are up to lately. When the topic naturally shifts to Jongin, since he’s the main connective between the two, Kyungsoo’s curiosity gets the best of him. 

“Yixing, can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Shoot.”

“Is it normal that Jongin is super affectionate with his friends? I’m asking because I’m not really used to skinship.”

What Kyungsoo doesn’t know is, that Yixing knows. All of Jongin’s close friends are part of the plan, and they know when to play their role. 

“What do you mean when you say he’s acting affectionate?”, he asks innocently. 

Kyungsoo stops in his tracks for a moment. He feels shy putting Jongin’s actions into words.

Like, straddling you and hugging you and getting too close to your face with his own face just to prove his point?”, he rambles.

Yixing’s eyebrow quirks up. doing something like that is so out of character for Jongin. Yes, when he’s feeling lonely and misses his family, or when he’s really happy, he is more cuddly and a little bit whiny at times too. He may occassionally cling, but he’s makes an effort to not look like he’s trying to make a move at any of his straight friends. He’s strict to keep any actions and gestures that could be seen as romantic to himself. 

Jongin has to be pretty whipped for this 168cm short guy to be this direct and touchy. However, sharing this piece of information with Kyungsoo would miss the entire point. So he says:

“Oh yeah, he tends to get…. very physical when he wants to explain or show something to you. Once I asked him whether his work in the gym finally paid off or not and he grabbed me and put me in the tightest headlock I’ve ever experienced. I swear I thought I was going to die!”

That part wasn’t made up, Jongin actually does have some weird methods to demonstrate things. To make it more convincing, he proceeds with an actual lie: “Sometimes when he’s happy or excited, he’ll kiss us on the cheek spontaneously or whatever - I guess it’s just his way to show his affection. He said it’s a bro thing. you know, just a little kiss for the homies - nothing more. That’s just how he is. I think he officially considers you one of his mates now.”

Putting Kyungsoo in the artificial friendzone? _ Check. _

“Oh, so, no funny business there or something? Nothing weird?  _ Just a little kiss for the homies _ , as you said?”

“...No?”, Yixing says, “What kind of innuendo should there be?” he looks at him like a deer in the headlights, blank stare and mouth slightly agape in confusion.

“N-nothing. No innuendo here, haha.”, he laughs off awkwardly and makes a flipping motion with his wrist. He wants Yixing’s head to stay devoid of any wrong thoughts whatsoever. 

Yixing fidgets, then he looks to the side and scans his surroundings. He’s pretty sure his next class starts in a couple of minutes and he doesn’t want to show up late  _ again _ . 

He puts a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and pats it lightly, “Well, I have to go now, but let me tell you one thing: Just tell Jongin that the skinship bothers you though. He may be a little bit overwhelming with his affection but he’ll strictly keep it at bay once you tell him it makes you uncomfortable.”

Kyungsoo puts up a smile and says, “I will go and tell him then! Thanks for the advice, Yixing.”

The other gives him a thumbs up and scurries away with an apologetic look in his eyes. Kyungsoo watches the figure become smaller in the growing distance for a couple of seconds.

As if he actually thinks about telling Jongin to stop anytime soon. 

Objectively speaking, following Yixing’s advice would be the most intelligent decision. Not only would it help keeping his persona afloat, it would also force him to stop getting his hopes up every day. He knows Jongin’s behavior towards him doesn’t mean anything, that Jongin just treats him like a friend.

Nontheless, Kyungsoo always had the inclination to be selfish. When Jongin straddled him, or when they hugged those two times, he felt so content, so happy. He focused on the way Jongin looked at him with tender eyes and how warm he felt, not on the way Jongin jumped off of him laughing and the way the sparkle in his eyes disappeared. 

He’s hurting himself by acting like a fool, but it’s the good kind of throb. He’d rather have Jongin joking around with him than not have him at all. 

So he comes back to the dorm and stays quiet the entire evening.

*

“Did Kyungsoo tell you anything special yesterday?”, Yixing asks one day later at the dancing studio. Jongin takes a huge sip of his water bottle, still panting from exertion as he wipes the dripping sweat off his chin. 

“No, was there anything he was supposed to say to me?” he casually extends his arm to Yixing, offering his water. Yixing accepts it with a nod and downs half of the bottle before he speaks up again. His towel should be threatening to fall off his body, but his shoulders have become so broad and toned that it doesn’t dare dropping. 

This prompts Yixing to quickly summarize his encounter with Kyungsoo. While he’s talking and looking into Jongin’s face, he’s realizing that his friend is really bad at hiding his emotions. Jongin can’t help himself and hangs on Yixing’s every word as long as it’s related to his _ one true love  _ Do Kyungsoo.

“At the end I told him that he should kindly demand you to stop being touchy if it bothers him and he said that he would definitely tell you”, the student finishes the story, “...So did he ask you to do it?”

“No, he didn’t say anything. I think he didn’t even talk to me at all yesterday when he came back. I just noticed...” The relevation seemed to make Jongin gloomy. He looks down to his fingers. 

“Isn’t this a good thing though? He actually craves for your attention, he’s so cute!”, Yixing coos. 

“I know..”, Jongin can’t hide his smile this time, “But he also makes it so hard for me. I wish he would just talk to me instead of hiding and pretending.”

“Cheer up buddy! I’m sure he’ll come to his senses soon. Also, it’s kinda your fault for wanting to get back at him and not be direct, you know.”

“It’s just fun teasing him a little…”, Jongin pouts. 

“I know, I know. He’s a sweet little pup.”, Yixing says and pats him on the shoulder. He may not be interested in men, but Kyungsoo may be a really, really sweet exception. It’s hard not to fall in love with him. Yixing completely understands.

4.

Jongin is over at Sehun’s apartment (yes, he has an actual apartment for himself, the rich kid) after he invited him over for a mysterious reason. While they did befriend each other pretty quickly, they haven't hung out outside of campus yet.

At Sehun’s, they play video games together, order ramyeon and it all seems so casual;  _ too  _ casual for Jongin's liking. 

"What's the catch of all of this?", he suddenly asks and fumbles his hands at the empty take out boxes and video game console.

"We're friends now, aren't we? I just wanted to hang out with you. I'm always the youngest around here, it feels good to have a friend that's my age for once.", Sehun responds. His tone feels a bit accusatory to Jongin, but he understands him. Sehun's just not known to be the biggest and most generous host, so Jongin found the way he behaved unusual. 

He means to throw him an apologetic look, but Sehun seems to interpret the silence from him and the eyes boring into his differently. Because suddenly, he continues speaking.

"Okay, maybe there is a little catch.”, Jongins ears perk up, "I got a little flash of genius yesterday about the Kyungsoo thing you got going on."

"Oh really? So what does the mastermind propose me to do this time?", Jongin challenges him.

"This might sound like a stupid idea at first, but I think it's brilliant. So how about…”, Sehun pauses on purpose, “ ...asking Kyungsoo to oil your body?"

"What?”, Jongin can’t believe what he’s hearing. That ought to be the dumbest and most unrealistic thing Sehun has ever proposed him to do. Jongin looks at him perplexed, but Sehun still keeps that shit-eating grin on his face. “Sehun, he's  _ never  _ gonna buy that. Who even actually oils their bodies apart from bodybuilders?" 

"Guyoung-hyung actually got a bunch of oil bottles laying around. I don’t know what they do or what type of oil that is - Hold on, I hope he doesn’t store _ that  _ stuff in his dance locker…”, Sehun looks to the side and acts like the X-files theme is playing in the background. He shakes his head, getting rid of the thoughts, “Anyways, just tell Soo-hyung that it makes your movements smoother or whatever and he'll believe it. Trust me, Kyungsoo is very gullible. A little bit more gullible than what’s good for him, but he just keeps holding onto it. It’s just who he is.”

Jongin is still not convinced. The whole thing seems too corny to have a chance to become true. “I really don’t think this will work… Why should I ask him when I could apply the oil by myself?”

“Don’t worry about that, just say you can’t reach or something and that your limbs hurt. Honestly, I don’t know if you’re going to need to explain anything in the first place. I mean, it’s  _ Kyungsoo _ . I’m gonna sneak out some of those bottles and give them to you around next week.”, Sehun says confidently, “Then you’re gonna watch the magic unfold by itself.” 

Sehun wordlessly passes him the PS4 controller and starts another FIFA match. Jongin guesses it’s settled for him then. He accepts his fate.

*

Next tuesday, Jongin’s sitting inside his local café with an iced latte in front of him. He’s chewing on his third cereal bar when out of nowhere, two amber bottles are pushed into his hands by no other than Oh Sehun. Jongin blinks once, and Sehun is already out of the door again. Jongin quickly puts the bottles away, not wanting other people in the café to wonder why he keeps massage oil with him. He sighs and decides to wrap up his visit, figuring he has been staying long enough anyways. 

The bottles feel heavy in his backpack as Jongin enters their dorm and is met with the sight of Kyungsoo’s head hiding behind his notebook. He’s working so innocently that Jongin feels like he’s doing something criminal. 

“Hey”, Jongin greets his roommate. 

“Hey Jongin.”, Kyungsoo’s looking up from his docs file and gives him a small smile.

“Are you busy right now?”, Jongin asks. He’s starting to get nervous. His hands are more shaky than usual when he crouches down to loosen his shoelaces. 

“Not really. I’m just typing out my sources right now. What’s the matter?” He’s tilting down the laptop screen to show Jongin he’s paying full attention to him. 

“Our dance instructor Guyoung-nim told me my condition hasn’t been the best lately. So he gave me these”, he pulls out the small bottles and points to the label, “massage oil bottles and told me to use them. Problem is that I can’t really reach all the areas well… So i wondered if you could help me out?”

A bewildered “ _ OH _ ” gets stuck in Kyungsoo’s throat. How can Jongin say that so casually? His heart rate is going up 5 beats with every passing second that Jongin simply stares at him, anticipating an answer. He guesses the prospect of oiling your friend’s back doesn’t seem too wild to Jongin, maybe as a dancer he’s used to showering with his friends. Regardless, the thought of being granted permission to touch his body is making him anxious. But he needs to keep his cool, since Jongin has been trusting him with his request. Jongin needs help and Kyungsoo genuinely wants to help him too. Even if it may or may not result in him having to vanish inside the bathroom for a few seconds to use the good ol’ tucking-your-boner-into-your-waistband trick. 

He’s so out of the loop that he doesn’t even consider asking why Jongin would want to oil up his body in the first place. Call it lovestruck.

“Of course I’ll help you out. I don’t have a lot of experience but I can try my best.”

_ You always do. I love that about you, _ Jongin thinks.

He nods in acknowledgement. “I’ll go take, um, a shower now. We’re just gonna do it in my bed then, alright?”

He speaks out the second sentence without realizing how it could easily be taken the wrong way. Kyungsoo’s cheeks are still on fire when the bathroom door closes. 

The water is running, and Kyungsoo becomes painfully aware of how there’s only a thin door separating him and naked Jongin from each other. In a few minutes, Jongin is going to step out of the shower and let him run his hands all over his abs (probably). Is he going to cup a feel of his strong thighs as well? How smooth is his body going to be under his own soft hands? Jongin’s upper body has always been pretty hairless, from what he has seen, apart from his armpits. His legs on the other hand are scattered with light hairs and Kyungsoo loves the look on him. 

Jongin reeks of the type of masculinity Kyungsoo loves on men so much. 

When Jongin comes out of the bathroom with just his boxers on, Kyungsoo is still sitting on the edge of his own bed, hands folded together in his lap. The older only dares to briefly look Jongin up and down, eyes darting to the side with a little blush on his face when he’s finished.

He has only taken a quick glance, but he saw _ them  _ again. The little water drops running down the flushed body. 

“I figured it’d be better to just take off the necessary things sooner than later”, Jongin says and scratches his head, “So you don’t have to watch me undress awkwardly.”

_ Maybe another time _ , they both think, but don’t speak out aloud. 

Kyungsoo nods awkwardly and Jongin sits down on his bed. Kyungsoo thinks it’s unfair that his stomach looks toned and not pudgy like his own, even when he’s sitting down. At least his little tummy is covered by the black tee he’s wearing. Jongin nudges him and hands the bottles to him to inspect. 

“Oh, those are massage oils with essential oils.”, Kyungsoo quietly remarks.

One of the bottles reads “lavender”, the other one reads “peppermint”. He’s relieved not to see ginseng or ylang ylang oil on the label, as those are said to have aphrodisiac properties. Kyungsoo does not want a smell to make him even hornier than he already is around Jongin. 

“I don’t know what essential oils are or what they do.”, Jongin admits in a small voice. He hopes that information won’t ruin anything.

Kyungsoo pushes up his glasses and opens the bottle caps of the oils to smell them. He thinks the fragrances are both lovely, even though he favors the mildness and slighty sweet smell of the lavender more than the overpowering peppermint. Jongin might think he’s weird for putting so much thought into analyzing the packaging and components of the oil, but he simply does it out of comfort. It calms him to know what exactly he’s holding in his hand and how to use it. 

“Basically, people are making claims about health benefits of essential oils, such as relaxation, pain relief, blood circulation, better sleep and more. Why did Guyoung-ssi tell you to use them?”, Kyungsoo asks.

“Just because, I guess? Maybe he saw me moving stiffer than usual.”, Jongin shrugs with his shoulders. He’s not the best at coming up with lies on the spot. For gods sake, Sehun just handed him those bottles and left as quickly as he appeared. When was he supposed to have the time to properly  _ think _ ?

“Okay.”, comes Kyungsoo’s clipped answer. He senses that there is something more to it, but he doesn’t have the energy nor the will to argue or dig deeper. He simply squeezes some oil onto his palm. He doesn’t know which one Jongin wants him to use - considering that Jongin seems to be equally clueless about it though, he just goes for the peppermint first. 

His mother has always been a huge fan of more alternative, natural remedies, so Kyungsoo is pretty acquainted with some of the smells and their respective functions and benefits. He still remembers his mother nagging him about rubbing his calves or thighs with a diluted peppermint oil mix to relieve his sore muscles when he was younger. The smell is triggering his olfactory memory, and for a moment Kyungsoo is reliving his childhood again.

He did not expect that this knowledge would come in handy one day. Kyungsoo figures that with Jongin being a dancer, he probably has to deal with sore muscles and cramps a lot. He hopes his treatment will get Jongin back on his feet the same way his mother was always able to make little Kyungsoo feel better too. 

Kyungsoo motions Jongin to turn around and sit on his bed cross-legged, causing his back to be facing Kyungsoo. Jongin obeys without hesitance. Kyungsoo tentatively puts his now greased hands on Jongin’s shoulder blades and starts rubbing the skin lightly. He feels weird just wordlessly rubbing oil onto jongin’s skin. He also feels _ the horny kind of weird _ staring at his flexing golden back muscles and watching how they start glistening and looking more defined with the help of the oil. 

_ There’s a reason posing oil exists,  _ Kyungsoo muses.

So he picks up the topic of his health again. Looking at his back, Kyungsoo does not only see those beautiful muscles, but also some darker rashes plastered over his back as well. His back isn’t exactly smooth, the skin is rather impure, probably a result of increased stress. 

If he thinks about it, Jongin does seem to break out more often lately and it’s especially visible on his face. He’s still incredibly beautiful, but Kyungsoo can’t help but worry.

“Jongin, is everything fine with you at the moment?”, he dares to ask. His hands slide to Jongin’s spine to slather more oil onto the area. Near his waist he spots a purple bruise and makes sure to not rub against it too hard. His waist is beautiful too. 

“Yes, you’re doing a good job at this. Thanks again.”, Jongin says. His roommate’s hands on his back feel almost therapeutic. They are so gentle, yet they tend to his problematic zones so well. Kyungsoo is currently tiptoeing the line between causing relaxation and sexual pleasure in him. Jongin wants to think about his friend actively relieving his back pain when he wanders low on his waist, but it’s hard to not think about what those hands are capable of doing as well. He tries to concentrate on the little kitten kneads Kyungsoo currently does near his ribcage. He exhales deeply. 

“No that’s not what I mean.”, Kyungsoo replies, hands still moving diligently, “What I meant was if everything is okay with your health. If you feel okay.” 

The smaller male is feeling tense muscle under his touch, so he starts lightly massaging the area with the heel of his hand. Jongin winces at the motion, but answers with “I guess I’m fine. It’s normal that dancing is exhausting on the body sometimes” regardless. 

“Jongin”, Kyungsoo says. The way he says his name sounds different. There is something in his voice that sounds similar to disappointment, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. “You’re human too. Pushing past your limit because it’s expected of you or because you put up high standards for yourself isn’t healthy.”

The younger doesn’t really know what do respond. It remains quiet for a short while. He is reminded of being scolded by his mom, and he feels bad because he wants to disappoint neither his mother, nor Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo resumes to apply oil onto the dip of his roommate’s back. The moment he applies just a little bit more pressure on the sides, Jongin’s body twitches badly. He can’t see his face, but he’s sure Jongin must’ve clenched his teeth and squinted his eyes from how much it hurts there. 

He feels bad to see him hiding his pain in front of him. He knows he has been hiding in front of Jongin as well and seeing him like this makes him think he understands better now. Understands better now that maybe, it’s time for him to do some opening up too. 

“Lay down on your stomach so you can relax more, okay?”, Kyungsoo offers gently. His palm is warm on Jongin’s shoulder as he pushes him down onto the bed cautiously. Jongin lets himself fall down flat like he has been waiting for this moment the entire time. The boy actually lets out a content sigh and it makes Kyungsoo smile above him. 

When Kyungsoo is finished oiling up his back completely, he continues to rub his hands along the slippery skin. He needs to kill time while the skin is busy absorbing the oil. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as rude or insensitive.”, Kyungsoo randomly says, “I was just concerned.”

Jongin’s heart is melting, because how can he still be so cute and innocent when he himself is close to pinning Kyungsoo down on the bed? He wants to rip the bottle of oil out of the other’s hands and focus on undressing him. He wants to make the smaller man glister with oil in a few minutes himself, courtesy of Jongin passing on the oil through body contact with him. He imagines making love to him and his shimmering porcellain body that would smell like lavender and be even silkier to the touch. 

He imagines a lot of things at an inappropriate point in time. He’s glad Kyungsoo picked up a more serious topic - it’s definitely lowering the risk of him doing anything stupid on impulse. 

“Maybe I was not exactly honest with you. I’m sorry too.”, he admits, head turned to the side so he’s not speaking into the pillow. Kyungsoo halts in his moves. 

“Turn around, please. I can hear you better then and I would also be able to move on to your a-abs.”, he asks. During the time it takes for Jongin to turn around, Kyungsoo squeezes another load of oil onto his palm. 

“I always avoid speaking about this because I don’t want to come off as attention seeking or spoiled or not hardworking enough by sharing my first world problems. But since you asked, I’m gonna be honest with you now.”, he says. Kyungsoo is putting a hand on a ridge between his abs and starts with circular motions. 

“I passed out from exhaustion recently. It wasn’t anything big, Yixing got me to get up really quickly but still, it happened. And I felt bad, and I was pissed because I was exempted from dancing for the rest of the day, and it sucked. I was so mad at myself for letting it happen, mad at my body for being so weak that I kinda broke down that day. Important showcases are coming up and I can’t allow myself to slack, you know…?”, he sighs out.

Kyungsoo nods as he continues tracing the defined abs and every single of the six squares. It seems like he’s doing it to comfort him at this moment, not to actively help him recover. It has a soothing effect on Jongin nontheless. 

“And I don’t know if you noticed, but I got frustrated to the point that I was stress-eating and eating dozens of lunch deals from the to go section of the supermarket and I just didn’t want to bother anyone, not you, not my classmates, nobody. But then I got mad at eating too much, and it ruined my appetite completely. So sometimes I just didn’t eat anymore.” 

Kyungsoo runs his hand along Jongin’s collarbones, then inbetween the pecs. Kyungsoo’s delicate and slender hands do a great job making him feel calm. 

“I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t like your cooking the last few days or so.”, he says, “You’re still a great cook. It was just me. Just a heads up for the case you felt… insecure or something.”

Kyungsoo spares one of his cute heartshaped smiles, “Jongin. It’s okay. I feel bad that I didn’t know, but I completely understand. I think I would’ve felt the same in your situation. I know you always want to work and I’m proud you pull through every day. I just feel bad that I didn’t help you somehow. I would’ve cooked you your favorite meal or ring up your mother to help her guide me to the recipe. Maybe that would’ve done the job returning your appetite.” 

Jongin knows that sometimes, he’s careless with himself, and it fills his heart with warmth to see someone else keeping out an eye for him. Somebody who wants him to feel well, to be able to perform at his peak. But also who understands why he throws himself into so much work - because he’s passionate about it. 

He returns a smile. 

By now, Kyungsoo is just absentmindedly caressing Jongin’s skin, because they’re both busy staring into each others eyes while talking. Kyungsoo gets lost in the teddy bear eyes. 

The atmosphere loosens up and they spend the rest of the time Kyungsoo needs to rub oil onto his calves and thighs chatting casually. They both notice how Kyungsoo keeps distance from any sensitive parts, such as his inner thighs or his nipples, but they both don’t comment on it. 

Kyungsoo swipes over Jongin’s calf one more time before he stands upright again and announces that he’s finished. The smell of peppermint floods the room and Jongin is sure his brain is keeping the smell in good memory. 

The “mission” was only half successful in the end, since Kyungsoo didn’t look as flustered as Sehun probably would‘ve liked him to be. Their conversation was rather comforting to Jongin and it felt good to him to be able to speak his raw mind.

The bottle of lavender oil lays forgotten and unused on the nightstand, but Jongin takes a quick picture of it with his phone. Maybe, if that peppermint is going to show any positive effect, he’ll buy another bottle for himself after sneaking the original back into Guyoung-hyungs closet.

Jongin walks to the tap in their kitchenette to fill up a glass of water before he goes to bed. On his way to his bed, he peeps through the open bathroom door and sees Kyungsoo rubbing the remaining oil on his hands onto his own milky calves to nurture his skin. The scene makes Jongin feel dirty for some reason. He glances at the smaller guy, who’s finally washing the grease off his hands and is starting his facial skincare routine, one more before he plops down onto the comfy mattress. 

At the end of the day, Jongin does not only go to bed with a relaxed body, but also a heavy heart. Because after showing him so much care and being so tender to him, Jongin can’t stop himself from falling deeper for the cute bratty boy sleeping in the bed next to his.

And while Jongin's thoughts are filled with sappy haikus about love and understanding, all Kyungsoo can think about is how he can beat his own meat big time without waking up his roommate now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u enjoyed this chapter since i'm very insecure about it. if u have anything to criticize or comment feel free to do so! i'd be happy with every kind of feedback since i'm not exactly proud of how this turned out.
> 
> thank you for reading and sticking with me!

**Author's Note:**

> and we're ending this before kyungsoo has the chance to embarrassingly attempt to establish his masculine straightness yet again during a session of netflix and hetero chill with jongin!
> 
> as i said, i really don't know what i was doing with this whole thing to begin with, so please let me know if you think i should continue this (altho i basically already planned the rest of the fic)! if you have something to criticise, feel free to do that too, as always <3 thank u for reading to this point!


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